Jumpstart Learning in Your Kids: An Easy Guide to Building Your Child's Independence and Success in School

Copyright © 2021 by Bridget Spackman.

Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

Cover Design & Layout: Roberto Núñez

Cover illustration: 3d_kot/AdobeStock

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Jumpstart Learning in Your Kids: An Easy Guide to Building Your Child’s Independence and Success in School

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2021931710

ISBN: (print) 978-1-64250-531-3, (ebook) 978-1-64250-532-0

BISAC category code EDU022000, EDUCATION / Parent Participation

Printed in the United States of America

For my loving parents Nomi and Maria Yusafi

Table of Contents

Introduction

A Letter from a Teacher

Section I

Understanding Your Child

Chapter 1

Abilities and Needs

Chapter 2

How Much Is Just Right?

Chapter 3

Helping Your Child with Mindsets

Chapter 4

Communication Is Key

Section II

Building Independence

Chapter 5

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Chapter 6

Choosing the Right Ladder and Getting Buy-In

Chapter 7

Asking the Right Questions and Giving Feedback

Chapter 8

Put Your Kids to Work!

Section III

Resources to Support

Chapter 9

Building a Space that Encourages Learning

Chapter 10

Establish Schedules and Routines

Chapter 11

Teaching Organization

Chapter 12

Holding Your Child Accountable

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Introduction

A Letter from a Teacher

What can I do to help my child at home?

How many times have you silently asked yourself this question after a long day? Maybe you’ve even asked, or thought about asking, your child’s teacher for help. The reality is that many parents have felt this way at some point in their child’s life. Feelings of inadequacy or failure often take away any thoughts of reaching out to those around us. Whether you’ve taken the first step to getting help or have only thought about it, you are doing the right thing. In fact, it takes great courage to be vulnerable with those around us and open up about our uncertainties around parenting and our child’s learning. As education continues to evolve and the methods which drive the instruction change, you probably feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. You are not alone.

As a late bloomer to my education, I didn’t graduate college until I was twenty-six years old. By that time in my life, I had already had my first-born, Ian. He was six years old and getting ready to start kindergarten. I interviewed for a few positions and accepted a position as a kindergarten teacher. It was perfect. My little guy and I were starting a new chapter in our lives on the same day, in the very same year, and in the same grade level. For once, I felt as though I was doing something right.

That year I worked hard to step into my new role as a teacher. I started my deep dive into research on strategies for providing good instruction, and I had spent countless hours creating and developing lessons that were hands-on and engaging. I knew that the work that I was putting in was worth it. I wanted nothing more than to be the best teacher I could be for my students, all while working to make a life for myself and for my little boy. It was not going to be easy, but it was the path that I had chosen.

What I didn’t realize was how time-consuming work was going to be. I’d spent four years working to learn everything I could about developmental stages and appropriate teaching methods, and yet I felt completely lost that first year. Teachers will often tell you that you are in survival mode that first year, and they are right. I was in survival mode. While I worked endlessly trying to navigate my way through maintaining a kindergarten classroom, the reality was that I wasn’t taking those practices home to my own child.

Coming from a single-mother home and raised by a Hispanic family, my upbringing was slightly different from many others. I loved my childhood and my upbringing, but my experiences or lack of experiences offered different perspectives for me. In turn, that same upbringing is what I gave Ian. For me, education was only a focus while I was in the classroom. It was not like my education was not important. It was! My mother always expected me to do my best. I was to behave in school, listen to my teacher, and get good grades. Those were the expectations, but rarely do I remember being read to or sitting down at the kitchen table to do my work. My mother was working hard to make a life for us. She worked long hours and was tired when she came home. Deep down, I knew that I needed to take care of my responsibilities at school so that I didn’t have to burden her at home.

During the spring of Ian’s kindergarten year, I was scheduled for a conference with his teacher. I remember this day so well. It was right after school. Ian came into my classroom and I had him stay with a teacher who worked right across the hall from me while I met with his teacher for the conference. As I entered the room, I had two colleagues sitting at the table. This was odd, as a conference was typically only held by the classroom teacher. Only a short way through the conference, his teacher informed me that he was not performing as he should be, and it was their recommendation that he be held back in kindergarten. I cried that day. I cried more than I had in years. For the first time, I felt like a failure as a mother and as a teacher. In my hope to make a life for us, I was distracted from the one thing that mattered most to me. How was I a teacher and yet failing my own kindergartener at home?

That first year was hard. I struggled to keep myself afloat, and Ian struggled with reading and writing. Despite the recommendations of my colleagues, I decided to have Ian move on to first grade. It took many years of continuing my profession as an educator, getting married, and having another little boy to convince myself that I was not a bad mother. It had also taken years of teaching experience and working closely with families to realize that I was not alone in my feelings and problems.

The truth is that there are so many families of all sizes, from all backgrounds, that feel the same way. In fact, you probably feel the same way I did. That’s why you are reading this book. Regardless of your upbringing and how strongly you believe in ensuring that your child is adequately prepared for school, nothing can prepare you for raising and teaching children. My degree did not prepare me enough. Only time and experience has allowed me to recognize the factors in establishing an effective and supportive learning environment.

Even then, what I did for my first child is incredibly different from what I did for my younger son, and the same goes for my classroom. As a working mother, it is incredibly easy to get caught up in going through the motions of everyday life. We forget to stop and really think about each individual and how what we are doing and what we are asking of them is affecting them. The reality of it all is that our kids are not the same. The kids that I teach on a daily basis are not the same. They each have their own uniqueness, their own quirks. What I have to do as a mom and teacher is identify those traits—really pay close attention and learn who they are, so that when it comes time to help them in their learning, when I challenge them to go outside their comfort zone, I am making decisions based on who they are versus what I have learned in school.

As you read this book, you will find personal stories about my experiences as a mom, my two boys, my husband, my experiences as a teacher, and finally my own upbringing. I do not disclose the names of students, and I have asked permission from my family to share their personal stories. I have always been a strong believer that it is through our personal stories that we make connections and learn. I will share the knowledge I have acquired through personal research, grad classes, and, most importantly, my own life. Raising a child to be successful is challenging, especially as we are all being pulled in so many directions, but it is not impossible. I hope to share my tips, tricks, and practical information so that you can easily begin implementing right away. Keep in mind that so much of what I share in this book are my thoughts and opinions. After years of service in public education, I have found essential components that have been successful for so many kids and families from all backgrounds. I have worked tirelessly to help kids understand the meaning of learning versus simply regurgitating information. Take the information you read here and make adjustments to fit your needs, and, most importantly, the needs of your child. I can assure you that, with time, dedication, and patience, you will begin to see a difference.

Section I

Understanding Your Child

As a parent, you know your children best during the early years of their lives: you can interpret their gibberish, and you know what they need in order to fall asleep, what soothes their worries, and the little things that bring them the most joy in life. It’s an instinct, a sixth sense, a superpower that you gained the day you became a parent.

There were many times during my early childhood when I had the feeling that my mother was watching me, as if she had eyes in the back of her head. She always seemed to know what I was up to or the trouble I was causing. I used to believe she had superpowers; she had mystical abilities to read my mind and see my every move from the other room. Now, as a mother of my own two children and a teacher to seventy-eight kids every year, I have realized that these superpowers are in fact real.

As I got older and matured, my mother’s powers didn’t seem to be as real. Overnight, it seemed as though I was able to get away with small acts of defiance that would have gotten me in trouble only a few years earlier. What happened? What changed that made the powers go away? Other than age, the only factor that came to mind was the fact that I had started school.

The majority of your child’s day is spent at school or participating in other collaborative and/or sports-related activities. Parents spend less time with their children, so they are able to gain more independence and spend time growing in their social skills. Teachers then place it on themselves to learn students in order to best serve them while teaching, and suddenly teachers seem to know your child as much as, or even more, than you do.

Very quickly, teachers begin to pinpoint the individual differences that define each child in their class. Teachers learn which kids crave opportunities for creativity or happily immerse themselves in a good book without ever being asked to, but it doesn’t take a teacher to recognize this. You undoubtedly can tell what sparks joy in your child. The difference is that teachers have a better understanding of how kids learn. Teachers develop their own expertise in this field and make it their duty to pinpoint what works for each individual child—a superpower of some sort.

Here is the big secret. Kids are not the same. All kids in fourth grade, or all kids who are six-year-olds, are not the same. They don’t learn the same way. They don’t process information the same way. They don’t engage the same way in conversations and thinking. Brain research tells us that this is true.