Normative Leadership: The "HOW TO" Science of Culture Change - and More

Normative Leadership

The How To Science of Culture Change––and More.

©2004/2020 Rod Hess

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used

or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written

permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

****

ISBN: 978-0-9754226-3-2

First Edition Printing 2004

Second Edition Printing 2020

This book is rated for Controversial.

Due to the graphic nature of the truth, knowledge, and timeless wisdom presented in the content of this book, some readers might feel offended.

Reader open-mindedness is advised.

About the Author

As a practitioner, trainer, and consultant, Rod Hess has worked with groups and organizations in the fields of Business, Education, Human Services, and Team Sports, conducting normative seminars to help them become more effective in managing their informal organizations. NORMATIVE Leadership is a culmination of over 46 years of experience, knowledge and innovations regarding the simple, but powerful, normative skills that all leaders have used throughout time.

Rod is currently President of Applied Organizational Concepts, a Pittsburgh, PA-based training and consulting firm that specializes in normative programs for groups and/or organizations on topics such as:

Organizational Culture Change

Leadership Skills

Team Building

Dealing With Peer Pressure/Bullying

Executive/Management Consultations

Contact Information:

Website: www.helpathy.com

Email: [email protected]

Phone: (412) 828-9055

To the Reader ...

Welcome to the world of NORMATIVE Leadership.

It’s common sense. It’s been around since the first group evolved, and it will be around long after we’re all dead and buried. You probably experienced it, but don’t realize it. The skills are simple, and will give you powerful results when used correctly. NORMATIVE Leadership is the missing link that can make our schools, businesses, athletic teams, and social service organizations more effective. NORMATIVE Leadership is the missing link that will make you more effective in leading others in your chosen field.

NORMATIVE Leadership offers you an operating system that you can creatively apply to the many problems that you face as you lead your group or organization. This operating system consists of my philosophy and many simple, but powerful skills for working with both group and individual behavior. While it is your decision as to how you will use what you learn, remember, someone once said, nothing changes . . . if . . . nothing changes. Therefore, you must make a conscious effort to strategically apply the normative concepts to the situations you face as you build your group or organizational culture or, nothing will change.

As you read through this book, you will notice it is written in the masculine, third-person he. Although NORMATIVE Leaders are both males and females, I purposely used this format to make it an easier read instead of using a more cumbersome he/she format. Also, in this updated, definitive edition, I extrapolate on the normative perspective I had when I first published this book in 2004. Hopefully, the knowledge and wisdom I gained over the past 16 years in evolving the model will give you a more comprehensive understanding of the concepts, instead of an appearance of redundancy. Thank you for your understanding.

I want to acknowledge two people whose work influenced me while on my Path Seldom Taken. My mentor, Sam Ferrainola, and his mentor, Dr. Saul Pilnick. Their work at the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Social Work and The Glen Mills Schools in Concordville, PA, gave me the knowledge and experience to build upon in creating this book. I would also like to acknowledge again the following people who provided guidance and support for me throughout the creation of the first edition of this book in 2004: Chris Byers for the illustrations at the beginning of each chapter; Kevin Abraham, for his peer pressure in holding me accountable for meeting my deadlines surrounding the completion of each chapter; my former academic advisor at Duquesne University, Dr. Fran Antolini, for editing this book; my family for their patience and understanding for the many hours I spent writing. For this updated, 2020 edition, many thanks to Patrice Bilenski, Kevin Abraham, and Jim and Georgia Johns. You guys are the best! Last but not least, I want to thank God for the opportunities that enabled me to find my path in life. I hope, in reading this book, you will be prepared to take advantage of those opportunities He sends your way!

I wish you the best of luck and success. Be careful, and "may the norms be with you!"

Sincerely,

Rod Hess

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Choosing Your Path

•Leadership – Choosing a Path

•The Path of Least Resistance

•The Path Seldom Taken

•The Path of the NORMATIVE Leader

•The Normative Focus

•Summary

Chapter 2: Helpathy – The ATTITUDE Behind the Skills

•The Importance of Attitude

•Seeking the Balance

•Helpathy – The ATTITUDE Behind the Skills

•Remember the STOP Sign

•Summary

Chapter 3: Defining the Parameters

•Who Are You?

•Characteristics of the NORMATIVE Leader

•Conclusion

•Leadership Behavior Inventory

Chapter 4: Understanding Normative Behavior

•Introduction to Normative Behavior

•The Formal Versus the Informal

•How Group Norms Originate

•Normative Behavior and the Organization

•How Things Really Happen Around Here

•The Helpathy Tracts

•Conclusion

Chapter 5: Working With Groups

•Mastering the Science of Group Process

•The Force Field: Your Normative Barometer

•The Polsky Diamond

•Verna’s Story

•The Formal Team Assessment

•The Normative Strategies for Change

•What to Observe in Small Groups: A Closer Look

•The Eight Process Points of Group Observation

•The Concentric Circles

•The Johari Window

•Guidelines for Giving Feedback

•Guidelines for Receiving Feedback

•Facilitating Groups – Process

•Facilitating Groups – Tasks

•The Information Sharing Meeting

•The Problem Solving Meeting

•The Problem Solving Process

•Meeting Flow

•Facilitating a Meeting

•The Group Interview: Selecting the Best Candidate

Chapter 6: Working With Individual Behavior

•Introduction

•Understanding Individual Behavior

•A Belief I Learned

•Beliefs and Interpersonal Relationships

•Breaking the Cycles of Prejudice – Seeking the Balance

•Summary

•The S.T.O.P. Leadership Styles

•The NORMATIVE Leader

•The Task Master

•The Accommodator

•The Isolate

•The Politician

•The S.T.O.P. Styles Summary

•Summary

•Facilitating a 1-1 Meeting

•Steps in Facilitating a 1-1 Meeting

•Summary

•Additional Points to Ponder

•The Decision Planner: For Making That Tough Decision

•Here’s How It Works

Chapter 7: Climbing the Mountain of Success

•Introduction

•Maximizing Opportunities For Growth

•The Follower/Employee Transition Phases

•Your Normative Education

•The Normative Supervisor

•Climbing the Ladder

•A Performance Assessment System: Introduction

•Accountability for Growth

•A Simple System – Writing the Job Description

•The Position Description

•Responsibility Areas

•Standards of Performance

•The Final Document

•Using the Performance Assessment Process

•Recommendations for Conducting a Performance Assessment

•The Leader/Follower Relationship

•The Leader – Points to Ponder

•The Normative Follower – Points to Ponder

•Managing Your Time: From Obstacles to Opportunities

•The Secrets of Success – The Old Fashioned Way

•The Master Formula of Attainment

•The Daily Grind

Chapter 8: Human Nature – The Problem and the Solution

•Introduction: The Three Constants

•The Five Ps

•Human Nature Out of Balance

•Conclusion

Chapter 9: The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

•Losing Our Way

•What I See

•Our Baggage, Our Style, Our Culture

Chapter 10: Seeking the Balance

•Thinking Things Through

•Seeking the Balance

•Human Nature – The Process

•The Lesson of King Solomon

•Conclusion

Chapter 11: Our Dysfunctional Cultures

•And the beat goes on

•Reality and the Normative Perspective

•The Conservative, The Liberal and The Radical

•The Elephants in the Room

•On Racism/Diversity and Political Correctness

•Immigration and Our Ethnicity

•The Disappearing Work Ethic

•The Lost Art of Education

•Colleges and Universities

•Slaves to Technology

•Hollywood and the Media

•The World of Sports

•The Business of Business

•The Business of Religion

•1984 – The Way Things Really Are

•Our State of Human Being

•Stuck in the Middle

•A Crisis of Stupidity

•What is Really Happening?

•The Elephants in the Room II

•Conclusion

Chapter 12: My Story – The Evolution of My Path

•Ignorance, Providence or Wisdom?

•My Path of Least Resistance

•My Path Seldom Taken

•The Focus on Culture

•My Mentor. My Friend. My Disappointment

•Nepotism, Arrogance and Ignorance: The Beginning of the End

•Beyond Sam Ferrainola: A Legacy Lost

Chapter 13: Timeless Wisdom for All Ages: Reflections While on Your Path

•Introduction

•Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder

•Normative Leadership and the Transparency of Collusion

•A Plan Interrupted

•Time to Choose

•Change Begins With You

•To Parents

•Leadership Within the Organization

•The Great Equalizer

•Timeless Wisdom For All Ages

References

Exhibit Section

•Team Assessment Exercise

•Meeting Minutes Format

•Problem Solving Form

•Meeting Minutes Format (Blank)

•Group Interview Observation Form

•1-1 Meeting Documentation Form

•From Obstacles to Opportunities Sheet

•The Decision Planner

•Performance Assessment System - Employee Assessment Form

Introduction

Normative Leadership: The Definitive Edition

. . . . . . .

How long, O Lord? I cry for help, but you do not listen.

I cry out to you, Violence!, but you do not intervene.

Why do you let me see ruin; why must I look at misery?

Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife and clamorous discord.

Then the Lord answered me and said:

Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets, so that one can read it readily,

for the vision still has its time.

Press on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;

if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late.

The rash one has no integrity; but the just one, because of his faith, shall live.

Passages From the Book of the Prophet Habakkuk

If you studied history, you would know the story of mankind offers endless examples of the repetitive cycle of man’s inability to understand and internalize the timeless principles that were given to us by God, through our ancestors, that enable us to live in peace and harmony with our fellow human beings. The God-like principles such as goodness and righteousness represent the blueprint for the way mankind is supposed to evolve. These principles have been passed down from generation to generation by parents and grandparents to their children and grandchildren. They continue to be reinforced by formal institutions such as schools and religions. And, while these principles have been taught, what really happens is that man chooses to ignore them and continually succumbs to the worldly trappings of power, politics, and profit. This, in turn, has led to the destruction and violence . . . strife and clamorous discord of which Habakkuk writes because we consciously turn away from God’s ways. It reinforces the fact that life is simply a timeless struggle between good and evil — with evil ironically, seeming to always have the advantage. For this reason, I believe that the above passage from the Prophet Habakkuk, written between 610-605 BC, is an appropriate preview for your life as a NORMATIVE Leader.

I trust it is safe to assume that since you are reading this book, you have an interest in both leadership and normative behavior. After 46 years in the field of organizational culture change, I have seen many trends in leadership training and organizational development programs that have failed, over time, to live up to the marketing hype that surrounded them. They eventually gave way to the next trend that was basically the same concepts, but a different package. So, what makes this book (program) different? Several things:

1) All of the other books that I have read tell you what you have to do in order to be a better leader or make your organization better. This book tells you how to do it!

2) Normative Leadership provides you with a simple, but powerful, operating system that is universally applicable to any group, team, or organization.

3) It is simple to understand, easy to use, full of common sense, and timeless — it will never go out of style!

4) Its focus is on the real culprit that can help your group, team, or organization to reach the pinnacle of success, or cause it to self-implode. That culprit is the organizational or normative culture.

5) But most importantly, it works!

My college football coach applied the Normative Leadership concepts intuitively to turn around a losing program into a national champion in four short years. My normative mentor revolutionized the field of residential treatment within juvenile corrections by taking a private, nonprofit residential school for male juvenile offenders from the verge of declaring bankruptcy and turning it around. At the end of my tenure there, six and one-half years later, we were a financially solvent, 10 mil operation, with 420 students, (mostly from inner-city Philadelphia) and had earned the reputation of being an international model for the rehabilitation of at-risk youth, and organizational culture change. One of my normative colleagues used the model to turn a struggling high school football team into a state champion. He also applied it successfully in his role as a high school assistant principal. As a normative practitioner, trainer, and consultant, I have taught the normative model to thousands of individuals in organizations within the fields of business, education, human services, team sports, and the residence life area within the college and university setting. I have seen many other examples of individuals who achieved various levels of success after applying the model within their chosen field. This book is a culmination of my education, experience, and on-going improvements that I made to the model over the past 46 years. It is my definitive work that will be my legacy for others to use and build upon in the future.

Initially, I self-published this book in 2004. My clients have used it as a resource to help them to apply the normative concepts within their organizations after attending my professional development programs. Although the system is geared specifically towards organizational culture change, components of it are easily adapted for use in leadership programs, peer pressure programs for kids, classroom management skills for teachers, management development programs, team building, etc. It’s all applicable. You just have to be a bit creative. In this updated version, I take a more comprehensive look, in chapters 8 through 13, into how human nature serves as the one key variable that makes the difference in how the system is implemented, which in turn, affects the cultures we create.

Ultimately, being a NORMATIVE Leader will prove to be both a blessing and a curse, for you will see things that need to be changed, and you will have developed the knowledge and skills to do so. However, others with selfish motives may desire to maintain the status quo and oppose you — even though they know you are doing what is right. And so, as you read and hopefully, internalize the NORMATIVE Leadership philosophy, create a vision for yourself on how you can use your leadership skills to apply what you have learned to make your group, team, and/or organization, and perhaps the world, a better place. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.

THE CHALLENGE

After 46 years of forging my own normative path, I, too, feel like Habakkuk. The excitement and optimism I have always had in trying to make a difference in the world, has given way to the harsh realities I experienced in my struggles on the Path of the NORMATIVE Leader. I have met and/or worked with many individuals over the years who have spoken passionately of doing the right thing and using the Normative Leadership concepts in changing their world. However, in time, their actions eventually exposed their true purpose — that of fulfilling their own self-serving agendas versus following the precepts of the model. By doing this, they lost the purity of the model which gave birth to a dysfunctional culture within their group/organization, causing them to operate at a level far below their potential, or implode. And, then there were some who legitimately tried to implement the model within their group or organization, but failed due to a lack of support from their leader and strong opposition from the group and/or other outside influences.

So, now, having begun our ascent into the 21st century, we as human beings, a society, a world, are at a crossroads. Our world is in a critical norms crisis and today, we are paying the price for the out of balance cultures we have created over the years in our groups and organizations. In his perceptive brilliance, Walt Kelly identified both the cause and solution to the problems we face in society today when he said, We have met the enemy. He is us.

Yes, we as human beings, are our own worst enemy. Our history shows that leaders in every generation have made decisions that have both enabled mankind to move forward with advancements in all fields while simultaneously, destroying certain aspects of our progress by succumbing to the trappings of profit, power, and politics. This is the proverbial struggle that is timeless within our humanity, and it makes one wonder, when will we finally get it?

There is nothing new or earth-shattering in this book. The NORMATIVE Leadership system is an enigma in that it is very simple to understand, yet very difficult to apply correctly. While this system is simple, it is timeless, very powerful, and will serve you well throughout your personal and professional life S as long as principles guide your purpose.

We can’t change the past, but we can change the present and influence our future by our actions as hopefully, more enlightened leaders. As we continue down the path of self-destruction in our world, we can no longer afford to turn a blind eye to the dysfunctional cultures we have created.

The normative parameters for acceptable behavior have expanded tremendously over the past 50+ years. Dysfunctional behavior is, in many ways, rewarded instead of being frowned upon.

We need to learn how to transcend these issues and evolve into the next level of our humanity in order to create a sense of balance within ourselves and in our relationships with others. So, instead of judging situations and people from our own biases and beliefs, we should apply a more universal standard that everyone, regardless of race, color, religion, etc., can use in assessing situations and behavior. We can do this by viewing events from a normative perspective. This book provides the missing link that can show you how to do it.

If you undertake this challenge, be advised that history has not been kind to the righteous individual — the NORMATIVE Leader who seeks to make the world a better place ... a more just and God-like place. And know that if you embrace the life of a NORMATIVE Leader, you are, indeed, guaranteed a very difficult path to forge. However, as you press forward in pursuing your vision as a NORMATIVE Leader, always remember God’s words to Habakkuk:

. . . Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets, so that one can read it readily,

for the vision still has its time.

Press on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;

if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late.

The rash one has no integrity; but the just one, because of his faith, shall live.

Are you ready for the challenge?

-1-

Choosing Your Path

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead

where there is no path and leave a trail."

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

LEADERSHIP: CHOOSING A PATH

Leadership. Historians have chronicled the deeds of many famous individuals who have shaped the course of history during their brief moment in time on this earth. There have been leaders who have led civilizations, countries, religions, and political parties. There are those who have led soldiers onto the battlefield and those who have led movements to bring about social change. There are those who have led companies or other organizations to provide a product or service to improve the quality of life of the consumer. There are also those whose exploits on the athletic fields have immortalized them in the hearts of their fans. And lastly, due to a lack of public exposure, there are those whose acts of leadership have not catapulted them into the annals of history, but the impact of their contribution to their followers cannot be diminished. These are the individuals who have excelled in their chosen field and have quietly touched the lives of their followers and made a difference in their lives in some way. These are the parents, teachers, coaches and mentors whose daily, consistent leadership has influenced, in some way, the lives of their children, students, players and proteges.

Some leaders have used their leadership abilities to make a positive contribution to mankind. Whereas, others, in an effort to achieve their goals, have used their skills to cause harm. Some leaders are autocratic in their leadership style, whereas, others are democratic. Some are old, some are young. Some are highly educated, and some have graduated from the school of hard knocks! Leaders come from all walks of life, ethnic backgrounds, genders and social strata. They have various types of skills and abilities that enable them to step out into the forefront of their particular groups and utilize their God-given talents to generate support from followers which enables them to achieve their goals.

Some leaders, at times, are perceived as super-humans. Their exploits are enhanced through a combination of fact and hype that creates an aura of power that attracts followers in search of a cause that will give more meaning to their lives. But, the reality is, leaders are human beings who share in the many strengths and vulnerabilities characteristic of human nature. Some are strong, courageous, and confident. They seek to lead with a sense of integrity, fairness and forthrightness. Others are able to create the illusion of strength through empty rhetoric and the ability to manipulate information in order to maintain control over their loyal followers.

All leaders, regardless of their intentions, have much in common. They are risk-takers who are willing to step outside the traditional paradigm and try something different. They remain steadfast to their beliefs and vision even in the face, occasionally, of overwhelming odds or heavy criticism. They understand people and know how to motivate their followers. They understand the dynamics of power — how to attain it and retain it. They are good readers of the politics of situations and make strategic decisions that will promote their cause and maintain relationships whenever feasible. Above all, leaders have acquired varying degrees of people skills for managing their followers as they work toward achieving the vision of their purpose in life.

So, what makes a person a leader? Can the answer truly be found in the rhetorical debate of whether leaders are born or made? Or, just because an individual is in a leadership position, does that mean the person is a leader? There are many variables that contribute to the development and continuance of one’s leadership style and ability. I believe that true leadership is a learned process that is initiated through action. Therefore, all individuals have the potential to lead others in some capacity if they are willing to step to the forefront of the group, take a risk and lead others. But, not all individuals are willing to do this. Everyone has to make choices regarding his individual behavior in life and this is what I feel differentiates the leader from the follower. This point is illustrated in the following section regarding the paths we as individuals choose to follow in life. Our options are: The Path of Least Resistance, The Path Seldom Taken, and the Path of The NORMATIVE Leader.

THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE

This is the path that is chosen by most people in life. It begins with our socialization process. We learn the normative expectations of being a good, productive member of society. The family, our schools and other formal organizations teach values to our young that help them to assimilate the necessary acceptable behaviors as they jump on the treadmill of life from birth to the grave.

The scenario of this path plays out as follows: we go to school, study for a career in a certain field, secure a job, get married, have a family, raise children, struggle to make ends meet each month, save for our kids’ education and our retirement, possibly change jobs, look for ways to make more money, spend more than we can afford, look for ways to make more money to meet the needs of the growing family, financially help the kids as they leave the nest to go to college, get married, or move out on their own for the first time, look for ways to make more money, retire, babysit our grandchildren, go on senior citizens trips, visit the doctor for a variety of issues, and then, eventually, die.

Within the context of the above scenario, there are many variations in lifestyles. However, no matter what lifestyle a person on this path chooses, there is not a great deal of risk involved in the actions they take. Adhering to the established norms provides a comfortable existence. It is a path of familiarity and security. You learn to do what everyone else does and even if you are unhappy about how a particular aspect of your life is progressing, you complain about it, but don’t really do anything to change the situation.

Many individuals have dreams of getting a better education, traveling to a different part of the world, pursuing a different career/lifestyle, or achieving some other personal goal. Others might hate their job, their boss or co-workers, might be in an abusive relationship and want to leave, or are generally unhappy with their place in life. They’ll complain about their situation, however, when it comes time to put their dreams into action, they rationalize why they can’t do it, rather than exploring how they can do it! Fear of failure, a lack of confidence, procrastination and just plain laziness, become some of the root causes that give birth to the many excuses that individuals use to keep themselves from taking a risk. It is much easier to complain about the obstacles one faces than to meet them head on and try to overcome them. As you go through life dreaming about what you would really like to do or be, you grow older and more comfortable and grow further and further away from your dream. Changing now would cause too many disruptions in your life and those around you. So, you continue down the Path of Least Resistance and reinforce your role as a victim of life.

You might live your whole life on this path. Then, perhaps someday, in old age, your thoughts might fluctuate between your impending death and the life you have lived. In reviewing your life, you will see the many opportunities you missed to take control of your fate and do what it is you wanted to do. You think, "if I could only live my life over, I would have..." Or, I should have done this... Or, "If only I would have..." But unfortunately, time has run out and you can’t change how you lived your life. This is one scenario that hopefully, you won’t have to experience.

Instead, life might present you with the opportunity to do some in-depth soul searching regarding your life and its direction through some catalysts such as: a near-death experience, the unexpected death of a friend or loved one, a milestone birthday, the loss of a job, a divorce or some other unexpected change in your life. You might now see the many opportunities you could have taken advantage of to achieve a goal you dreamed of, but failed to pursue, for whatever reason. Having experienced the unexpected situation, and now realizing how precious life is and how little time we really have to enjoy it and accomplish things, you might conjure up the courage to make a change and follow a different path. This path is The Path Seldom Taken.

THE PATH SELDOM TAKEN

Walking this path are individuals who want something different in their life. They are tired of the daily rat-race of keeping up with the Jones’, and/or the feeling of just spinning their wheels in life and never getting anywhere. Some have acquired many valuable material things, have achieved status in society, expertise in their field and even financial security, and yet, they continue searching for something that will enable them to feel fulfilled as a person. These are individuals who have a vision of their own, but due to circumstances, were unable to leave the Path of Least Resistance. They finally realize the disillusionment they have with living the status quo cannot be controlled any longer and they choose to deviate from the norm. This motivates them to step off the Path of Least Resistance and onto the Path Seldom Taken.

The Path Seldom Taken is a harder path to follow than the Path of Least Resistance. This path has been carved by a person who has gone before you. This person could be a visionary who has left the Path of Least Resistance to follow a dream. In hearing his message, you have decided to also leave The Path of Least Resistance and follow this individual. You learn more about the message and the plan to bring the vision to fruition. You become part of the many followers the visionary has recruited to carry through and build his dream.

You find that the work is very hard, but rewarding. Your mentor’s dream could put you and your colleagues on a collision course with the mainstream norms of those who follow the Path of Least Resistance. You will experience support from those who agree with the vision and seek to promote furthering the cause. There will be those who are indifferent to your cause for they have their own problems to worry about and don’t have the time or the desire to venture too far from the Path of Least Resistance. And, ultimately, there will be those who oppose you and the dream. They will see it as a threat to the comfort and security of those who choose to stay on the Path of Least Resistance. Even if the dream makes sense and will ultimately change things for the better, the opposition has much to lose, both individually and collectively, by supporting something new. Therefore, it must be challenged and discredited before it takes root.

Your mentor has cleared the path to a certain degree, but there are still many obstacles that must be overcome as you follow your goal. You face the pressure of your peers and others who try to dissuade you from the vision. They will point out all of the negative things about your dream and tell you why you are foolish for leaving the security of the Path of Least Resistance. Sometimes, the allies you thought you had in your friends and family will also question your wisdom when it becomes tougher and tougher to overcome each new obstacle. Sometimes, you will even find that you question your own sanity as you seek alternatives to get you over your latest obstacle. You hear the I told you so’s when things go wrong. You might even feel like giving up and returning to the Path of Least Resistance. But, you find that something deep inside keeps edging you forward. It is in these dark, uncertain times that things will begin to happen for you.

Sometimes, you might have to deviate from this path and return to the Path of Least Resistance for a while in order to respond to a certain obstacle. This is just a minor adjustment that you will need to correct. During this time, it is important to not lose sight of your dream. Life is a process and things happen in their own time. The more you try to force things to happen, the more they will elude you. You must be patient and work on those variables over which you have control. Acknowledge, but do not waste time on those variables you cannot control. This will help you to avoid unnecessary frustrations. It is in letting go and doing what needs to be done at the time, that will enable you to eventually achieve your goal. When you sense the timing is right, you can then return to the Path Seldom Taken and resume your quest.

While you continue to assist your mentor in achieving his vision, the inner voice inside of you keeps reminding you of your vision. As you grow in knowledge, experience and expertise on this path, the voice grows louder and louder. It is a signal that you have come to the fork in the road on your personal path and must decide where your path will lead. You grow restless and struggle with the sense of security you have enjoyed under the protection of your mentor. As a foot soldier, you have been sheltered from the backlash aimed at your mentor by individuals who have issues with your mentor’s vision, and seek to impede his progress in various ways. The vision has taken shape and continues to materialize into reality, its evolutionary phases of growth will provide you with more challenges to overcome, and can keep you energized. This is an option you can choose. Remember, however, if you follow your mentor’s path for too long, this path will eventually become the Path of Least Resistance for you, and you will find yourself living your mentor’s dream — and not your own. The inner voice that had once been a strong beacon driving you forward, has now been downgraded to a whisper or completely silenced. Right or wrong, good or bad, you have compromised your vision and decided to play it safe and stay on this new Path of Least Resistance.

The other, and more difficult choice, is to acknowledge the constant prodding of the inner voice and forego the comfort and safety of being under your mentor’s wings, and choose to move into the unknown regions of pursuing your own path. Your fear will soon give way to excitement as you use your knowledge and skills to go beyond what you have learned from your mentor to create and bring to fruition — your vision. So, here is where you must decide whether to continue on the Path Seldom Taken, following your mentor’s dream and helping him to achieve it or, do you leave the path and follow your own dream and take up the Path of The NORMATIVE Leader?

THE PATH OF THE NORMATIVE LEADER

Taking the Path of The NORMATIVE Leader brings to mind the 1960's movie/series, Kung Fu, with David Carridine. The show chronicled the life of Quai Chang Caine, a Buddist priest of American and Chinese descent, who, as a young boy in China, became an orphan. Living in a foreign country, alone, he sought refuge in the Shaolin Temple, a monastery of Buddists priests who taught aspiring priests the philosophy of Buddism and the ancient art of kung fu. Young Caine waited outside the temple gates with a crowd of other boys who were hoping to be admitted as students. Periodically, a monk would open the gates of the temple, walk through the crowd of boys who had been waiting, and then he would go back inside the temple without saying a word. In one instance, he pointed to four boys and politely said, go home. He then turned and walked back into the temple without saying anything to the others.

As the days passed, the number of boys dwindled due to the many hardships they had to endure, i.e., little food, inclement weather, lack of sleep, etc. When there were four left, the monk opened the door and softly said,you may come in. Once inside, the monk led the group to a table below where the grand master was seated in his chair. As the boys took their seats, the monk poured each boy a cup of tea and placed the cup on the table in front of them. He then poured a cup for the grand master and gave it to him. The grand master raised his cup as if he was saluting the prospective students. The boys, except Caine, interpreted this as a signal to drink and began drinking their tea. When they finished, they put their cups onto the table. You may leave, said the monk. With that, all four boys stood up to leave. Impressed by his manners, the grand master invited Caine to stay.

Young Caine had endured the hardships to prove himself a worthy candidate to be admitted to the Shaolin Temple. He had made the transition from the Path of Least Resistance to The Path Seldom Taken. Now, he was ready to begin his training.

In his initial orientation to the temple, the grand master extended his hand, fist closed, to young Caine. He turned his hand over and displayed a pebble resting in the palm of his hand. As quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand, he tells young Caine. As Caine reaches to take it, the grand master quickly closes his hand. "When you can take the pebble from my hand," he tells the puzzled boy, it will be time for you to leave.

Over the years, Caine spends each day under the watchful eyes of his masters learning the traditions of the Shaolin temple, the Buddhist philosophy of life, but in particular, the ancient art of Kung Fu. After having perfected his skills through many years of training, Caine is asked to meet with the grand master. He once again directs his seasoned student, take this pebble from my hand. In a lightning swift movement, Caine’s hand strikes out toward the grand master’s hand. In an instant the test is over. The grand master opens his hand...the pebble is gone. It is time for you to leave, he says quietly and proudly to Caine. Remember always, he adds, a wise man walks with his head bowed, humble like the dust. With that, Caine leaves the temple to seek his own path.

Alone, he leaves the place that has been his home for many years, and enters a world filled with people who manifest both the good and bad of human nature. As time passes, he remembers one of his blind master’s wishes - to visit the Forbidden City during the Festival of the Moon. There, he meets his master for a long awaited reunion. As they walk through the crowded street, they reminisce about the conversation the two had five years earlier about this very goal the blind master shared with Caine. As they spoke, an entourage of security guards had been pushing the crowd aside to make way for the emperor’s nephew who was being carried by servants in his carriage through the streets. One guard pushes the blind master and instinctively, in self defense, the blind master performs a simple Kung Fu move and the guard falls to the ground. The master is confronted by the captain of the guards for tripping his man. The blind master apologizes for the incident and the emperor’s nephew, who has been observing the altercation, gestures his approval for the captain to strike the blind master to punish him for the incident. He angrily strikes the blind master, slapping him across the face. He attempts to grab him to inflict more punishment, and the blind master grabs the captain’s hand, twists it, and the captain falls to the ground in pain. Even one of the Royal House should not punish an old blind man twice for the same crime, says the master.

With that, another guard attacks the master with a spear only to be sent flying, the victim of another Kung Fu move. Seeing his guards being humiliated, the emperor’s nephew points his gun at the old priest and shoots. The bullet pierces the chest of the blind priest and he falls to the ground. Caine quickly rushes to his side. Seeing his master lying on the ground, dying from a senseless act of violence, Caine becomes enraged. In a moment of uncontrolled anger, Caine disables two guards and grabs the spear from the second guard. He throws the spear at the carriage where the emperor’s nephew has returned. The spear pierces the carriage and strikes the emperor’s nephew, killing him. Before he dies, the blind master tells Caine that he must leave China, for he will be hunted down by the emperor’s men. He then flees to the western frontier of America to seek refuge and to search for his only living relative — his brother.

The training and skills he has acquired as a Shaolin priest have enabled him to do feats that others consider super-human. He can walk through a pit of rattlesnakes without getting bitten. He can walk across the hot, dry desert without dying of thirst. He has the ability to disappear when people are about to capture him. He can catch an arrow that is about to pierce his chest with his hand. He can successfully defend himself against four men at one time by using his Kung Fu. Yet, his true strength, lies in his ability to teach others to overcome their human frailties.

Fear. Anger. Hatred. Revenge. Greed. Racism. Social injustices. These are some of the negative aspects of humanity that Caine encounters in the people he meets as he walks from town to town in search of his brother. Despite being the target of criticism, violence and injustice, he remains steadfast to his Buddhist belief in the sanctity of life and the goodness of man. He uses his training and skills to confront and neutralize the verbal or physical attacks on him, yet tries to help his attackers understand the impact these negative acts have on themselves and others. He always tries to bring others to a higher level of understanding and enlightenment regarding themselves, their relationships with others, and to the world as a whole. He never lowers himself to respond to others at their level.

His life is a model of simplicity and service. He seeks truth and justice regardless of the cost, for in the end, they always come to light. He seeks to make the world a better place knowing that he can influence change in the world he encounters. Wherever he goes, he becomes a catalyst who challenges people to become better than themselves as they struggle through depths of self-awareness that they have never been exposed to previously. This, at times, angers people, because the very essence of who they are, is challenged by Caine as he uses his skills in an attempt to seek the truth in the situations he is thrust into in each episode. In seeking the truth, he constantly makes enemies of those who wish to hide in the darkness of lies and deceit. It is this continual battle pitting the forces of good versus evil that helps Caine to use his leadership skills to define and shape his path through life and determine the legacy he will leave. Quai Chang Caine’s story is a foundation to build upon the leadership model that I call, The NORMATIVE Leader.

The Path of The NORMATIVE Leader is, by far, the most difficult, mainly because there is no path! It is basically the uncharted territory where the treasures of your vision lie buried deep within the jungles of uncertainty and obstacles. This is where you must create a path! Armed with the knowledge, expertise, self-confidence and a vision born of many years of preparation, you will begin your quest — alone. As you begin to forge a path, you will attract the attention of others who will hear your message and respond accordingly. Some will join and support you, for they like your ideas and want to be part of something different. Others will stay on the Path of Least Resistance, for to leave would cause too much turmoil in their lives. In forging a path and attracting and maintaining a following, you will also attract those who will feel threatened by your vision and they will devise ways to discredit, sabotage and impede your progress. This is why it is imperative that you have a solid foundation in the use of normative skills. So, what are these normative skills? The answer lies in understanding the foundation of normative behavior.

THE NORMATIVE FOCUS

When people come together for a purpose, they form a group. In executing this purpose, they may establish a formal system of behavioral expectations that govern the behavior of the members. These formal norms are called rules or laws and provide stability, control and formal accountability for behavior. By-laws, procedures, policies, formal rituals and meeting minutes are all examples of this formal system. It is, in essence, anything that is committed to writing and is visible to outsiders. Quite simply, it is what is supposed to happen. But, there is a major informal normative system in operation that is the driving force behind the formal system. This informal system dictates how we really do things around here’ as opposed to how we should do things. For instance:

All groups and organizations have an informal culture that dictates how things really happen around here. This informal culture is also called the group’s normative culture. It is a very powerful force that if harnessed correctly, can make a leader more effective in leading his followers toward attaining the vision he sees as his purpose in life.

Sometimes there is a huge gap between what is supposed to happen (formal) and what really happens (informal). It is in learning how to understand and manage this normative culture that enables the NORMATIVE Leader to close this gap, so that what he says is supposed to happen, really does happen. The simple, but powerful normative skills that you will learn in this book, will give you an intangible edge for creating the culture that you want within your group or organization. The consistent application of the concepts, skills and attitude differentiate the leader who walks his path in life, from the NORMATIVE Leader who forges a path.

I believe everyone has a purpose in life. I also believe that as we grow through life and walk the Path of Least Resistance, the Path Seldom Taken and that of The NORMATIVE Leader, God gives us clues regarding our individual purpose in life at this particular time, and its relationship to the overall Master Plan of His creation. However, some people go through life and fail to achieve any sense of self awareness and just exist for the present moment. Whereas, others choose to ignore any attempts to decipher the clues surrounding the coincidences they experience in their relationships and/or situations that occur. Still others choose to get what they want from life at other people’s expense and live a life of crime. Through our free will, God gives us the opportunity to choose our path and fulfill our purpose in life for the betterment of ourselves and our fellow human beings. I believe He also provides the ability and skills necessary for us to undertake our mission, if we are willing to accept it! Recognizing the signs and being willing to accept and act upon them, are the key variables in fulfilling your purpose in life and in creating a path for others to follow.

So, after many years of traveling on the Path Seldom Taken, it will come to pass, someday, that you will hear The Master say to you, it is time for you to leave. Know, however, this scenario may not be as simple as it was for Quai Chang Caine. An experience that you will have, may trigger the necessary momentum for you to finally step off of the Path Seldom Taken and take up the Path of The NORMATIVE Leader. Despite the doubts and fears, you will know that the time is right for this to happen. How? By the feeling emanating deep inside of you; a strong feeling that pulls you toward your vision. A feeling that will not leave you no matter what you try to do. Opportunities will arise that will take you a step closer to your vision. Ideas will pop into your head when you least expect it that will provide an answer to a problem you are facing. You might awaken at 3:00 am and begin to have creative thoughts regarding how you might take your vision to the next level of its development. (Be prepared: God does not work during normal business hours!) But, remember, no matter what you try to do to deny or escape these feelings, you will feel a constant conflict within until you decide to let go and allow God to guide you. Once you do this, just hang on for the ride! You will never be at a loss for ideas or excitement. It will be a difficult path filled with many obstacles, but always remember, your needs will always be taken care of in some way, shape or form. Things always have a way of working out. Just trust in God, follow your vision and do your part to make the world a better place.

SUMMARY

The scenarios that I have outlined represent ways in which individuals travel among the various paths in life. There are many factors that influence the path one chooses and the behavior one chooses to model while on the path. No matter what path you choose to follow, the choices you make regarding your behavior will impact the direction that your life takes and how in turn, you will affect others. Each choice, followed by an action, exerts a ripple effect similar to that of a stone falling into a calm pond of water. The ripples flow from the stone’s entry spot to points in all directions causing a disruption to all things in its wake. The disruption can be judged as either good or bad depending on the results experienced. The fish about to swallow a baited hook is suddenly scared away by the intrusive rock and is able to live. Whereas, the rabbit drinking along the banks of the pond, instinctively darts away and unfortunately lands in the grasp of a hungry fox.

We are all, in some way, dependent upon each other. An act of kindness, as well as an act of violence has a ripple effect far beyond the recipient. Acts of kindness performed by individuals are the building blocks of mankind, especially when they are done with empathy. They are simple to do and have a very powerful effect upon the sender and receiver. These acts build a sense of trust among individuals which in turn, lays the foundation for a relationship to develop. Relationships based on trust, understanding, mutual respect and cooperation, can create ripple effects within a group’s normative culture that will unleash the unlimited potential of its members to follow their paths in life and utilize their God-given talents to better themselves and mankind.

Acts of violence, on the other hand, cast shadows of doubt in relationships and breed a culture of fear and mistrust. Individuals who engage in these acts, choose the easy way out in life as they walk their paths. They learn how to manipulate the system and parlay their victim status into that of a victimizer. These individuals have figured out that there is an easier way to survive on their path, and that is through committing crimes or deceptive practices. They seek to attain their goals through the hard work of others. They use their God-given talents to deceive, manipulate or to intimidate individuals into giving them what they want. If that doesn’t work, they take what they want regardless of the cost to others. These individuals are not just the hard core criminals who overtly abuse others and/or their property, but are also individuals who give the appearance of living within the parameters of the law, but are secretly engaged in collusive illegal, immoral or unethical acts to selfishly gain things for themselves. These individuals are sometimes the well-known and well-respected individuals within their communities. They come from all walks of life and various ethnic backgrounds. Some are leaders. Some, too, have used, or should I say abused, normative skills in managing their followers to attain what they want.

Consequently, acts of violence perpetuate behaviors that reinforce self-preservation strategies by individuals who seek to protect themselves from harm. Anger and hatred fuel the fires of retaliation when individuals seek to avenge the acts of violence committed against them by others. The intensity of each retaliatory act, if unchecked, will increase and eventually escalate to a lose/lose scenario where one party, or both, are hurt or destroyed due to their inability to reconcile their differences.

This is where cooler heads must prevail and individuals must be perceptive enough to see the bigger picture regarding the long term consequences of an emotional, irrational response to issues regarding interpersonal conflict. This is where one’s leadership ability is paramount in the attempt to neutralize the conflict and bring about a peaceful resolution of the issue in question. A leader must be able to calmly and rationally decipher the real issue in question, and utilize his leadership skills in addressing interpersonal and group issues. The leader’s ability to read what is really happening in the certain situation, will give him an intuitive edge in being more effective as a leader.

In this book, you will learn many simple, but practical skills that can be incorporated into your leadership style. These skills may be simple, but they are very powerful. In using these skills, you will undoubtedly cause a ripple effect of reactions with your followers as well as those outside your immediate circle that you touch in some way. The reaction will constitute a decision on your part regarding how you will manage yourself, and others, as you pursue your vision. I am offering a basic normative operating system that will, if used correctly, help you to deal more effectively with the many obstacles you will face while forging your path.

As you progress through each chapter, you will become more aware of how normative behavior and concepts have influenced you throughout your life. You may recall how you responded to these normative situations that you experienced and how your decisions impacted your life. You cannot change what has happened, but can certainly change what will happen in the future regarding how you will use and respond to normative behavior.

The knowledge you will gain will be both a blessing and a curse. You will see things in behavioral situations that others are oblivious to, for they lack your depth of understanding regarding normative concepts. Your knowledge will give you insight and the necessary people skills to be more effective in leading others and facilitating change. However, you must always be cautious, because most people are very comfortable on the Path of Least Resistance, and even though your ideals and philosophy would bring about positive results for all involved, the group may resist and perhaps scapegoat you because to change means they must be willing to give up something. To them, it is much easier to tolerate the status quo than to stand up for something that would require them to potentially risk losing something of value, such as their job, status, money, or even their lives!

Remember, the great leaders throughout history have sacrificed much to attain their vision. Their documented