Fight Back: End the Cycles of Anxiety and Depression

Copyright © 2020 Mike Oglesbee.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-4645-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4647-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-4646-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020906945

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/09/2022

To the most loving, kind, and supportive woman I’ve ever had the honor and pleasure of knowing, my wife, Shannon Oglesbee

CONTENTS

Introduction

PART I. UNDERSTANDING THE MIND

CHAPTER 1 Measuring and Tracking Anxiety and Depression

Burns Anxiety Inventory

Burns Depression Checklist

CHAPTER 2 The Theory of Mind

The Conscious and Subconscious Mind

The Language of the Subconscious Mind

Event + Internal Representation = Experience

The Critical Mind

The Primitive Mind

Right versus Left Brain

Neural Pathways

How the Subconscious Mind Learns

CHAPTER 3 Symptoms versus Problems

Defense Mechanisms

Pain versus Pleasure Principle

The Fear Factor

PART II. A NEW FOUNDATION

CHAPTER 4 Laying the Groundwork

Mental Training

The Impact of Your Words

The Impact of Your Environment

Control and Faith

CHAPTER 5 The Model of Power

Truth

CHAPTER 6 Setting Growth Goals

Process versus Result Orientation

CHAPTER 7 The Process of Growth

The Terror Barrier

One Step at a Time

CHAPTER 8 Acceptance

Expectation versus Reality

Shifting Your Focus

Putting the Process into Practice

PART III. THE TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES

CHAPTER 9 Changing Your Experiences

The Model of Human Experience

CHAPTER 10 Self-Management

Needs versus Wants

Discernment and Self-Regulation

Effective Decision Making

Should Statements, Guilt, and Shame

Identifying with Problems

Putting Discernment into Practice

CHAPTER 11 Resolving Problems

Part I: Problem

Part II: Truth

Part III: Insight

Part IV: Responsibility

Part I: Problem

Part II: Truth

Part III: Insight

Part IV: Responsibility

CHAPTER 12 Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts

Fear-Based Intrusive Thoughts

CHAPTER 13 Healing Core Issues

Mirror Technique

Meditation

Diet and Exercise

Ending the Cycles

Bibliography

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

In 2011, I opened Maximized Mind, LLC, in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where I specialize in helping adults overcome anxiety and depression using the most effective tools and techniques that psychology and the field of self-help have to offer, including NLP coaching, hypnotherapy, and other forms of traditional and alternative therapeutic modalities. I have helped people throughout the world overcome anxiety and depression by helping them replace the subconscious programs within them that cause these issues and teach them how to use their conscious minds in a more effective way to gain balanced and peaceful lives. I firmly believe the key to overcoming anxiety and depression is empowerment or, more importantly, self-empowerment. Empowerment comes through knowledge, and knowledge about the self becomes self-empowerment. Therefore, I devote much of my time teaching my clients how to understand their subconscious programs behind the challenges they are experiencing, why they are facing them, and how to safely and effectively remove and replace them with healthy ones that are more effective. It may sound complicated, but after reading this book, you will have a better understanding of subconscious programs as well as the process of replacing them.

Since childhood, I’ve battled severe anxiety and depression. For me, nothing ever seemed to work. I tried everything I knew of, including medications, reading self-help books, and attending counseling several times. I seemed to be immune to everything that worked for everyone else, that I was somehow different and nothing could help someone as unique and diverse as I am. I had suicidal tendencies as a teenager and throughout my early thirties, developed OCDs, disassociated from my body at times, and even hallucinated from extreme anxiety. I’ve experienced uncontrollable panic attacks and excruciating pain in my chest and body. I’ve caused damage to my life as well as others’. I’ve hurt people through my actions and done some rather messed-up things. I’ve created dysfunction in almost every area of my life at times. I messed up at times because I was messed up. I hated life for over thirty years because I was always in pain and suffering. I was angry, bitter, and resentful, but I never knew why. For me, life was a struggle.

It wasn’t until I began to learn about the subconscious mind and how to reprogram it effectively that I began to see and experience actual lasting results in my life. I began to experience what it felt like to go long periods without feeling empty and worthless inside. I started giving and receiving true genuine love for others and myself. The void within began to transform into passion and excitement. The weight of the world lifted, and I finally felt a real sense of freedom in my mind. I learned to turn my inner critic into an amazing inner coach, and my life took on greater meaning. I no longer sabotaged all the good things in my life, and I had a reason to chase my dreams. I finally began to live my life on my terms, the way I always wanted. It was no longer a daily struggle. I was motivated and inspired to make something of myself for me, not to gain acceptance and value from and through others who seemed to dictate my life with their views and opinions. I became authentic, and I have loved living life since.

Did this take work? Yes. Do I still do the work? Yes. Some association from my past that I didn’t work through because I wasn’t aware of it earlier in my self-healing process may occasionally trigger an old program. This requires me to acknowledge and resolve it within my conscious and subconscious mind. I’ve never allowed myself to forget the pain and suffering of going through life with debilitating anxiety and depression, for it motivates me to continue working on myself to become better and stronger. I call this simple maintenance. Now that I have the tools and understanding of how and why these things affect me, I can quickly work through them in minimum time with minimum effort. I’m very grateful for my experiences with anxiety and depression because, through my transformation, I am now able to help others heal effectively and achieve similar results in their lives, and that’s the greatest gift I’ve ever received.

Throughout my years of helping people overcome anxiety and depression, I have learned that the most powerful way to do this is through knowledge, understanding, and practicality. I have found my clients’ results are much more effective, long lasting, and more practical when they understand what they are going through and why these things are happening to them. It’s like the old proverb Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you’ll feed him for a lifetime. My job is not to help people but to empower them to help themselves. I believe that you can only help those who help themselves. It’s impossible to do the work for someone else. Teaching them how to do it for themselves is when the healing can begin to happen.

Many people do their best to fight anxiety and depression but typically fail to get them under control. The first step in overcoming anxiety and depression is to learn about and begin to understand how the mind works, which will help you more fully understand the concepts and teachings in this book and why each is so important to implement to overcome them once and for all. Part I is designed to teach and empower you with this knowledge and understanding. Since you will be working with your mind to overcome anxiety and depression, you must know and understand how the mind works. This is where most people fall short in their journey to healing. Several things I teach in this book may be new to you, things that you may not have ever heard before, especially when it comes to the subconscious mind. I challenge you to read this with a curious and open mind so you can allow yourself a new opportunity to overcome debilitating anxiety and depression in your life—for good.

In Part II, I will teach you how to create and lay a new foundation in your mind that will support the new programs that can eradicate anxiety and depression from your life. Albert Einstein once said, We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. Applying the philosophies I teach in this book will allow you to transform your life from pain and suffering to peace and power. In Part III, you will learn the tools and techniques I teach and use to help people successfully reprogram their subconscious minds and take back control of their lives. Once you learn these tools and techniques, and become fluent with them, you will experience powerful growth and transformation in your life.

First let’s take a moment to make sure this book is for you. It’s important to be up front and honest with you so that I can best assist you in overcoming anxiety and depression. The essential ingredients in overcoming any challenge, conquering any goal, or creating any real, lasting change in your life are self-discipline, patience, and practice. If you are serious about creating change in your life, you must be consistent with the implementation of these tools, disciplined in your practice, and patient throughout your process of growth. There is no magic pill or cure. It takes work, but I can tell you that now that I’m on the other side of the work, I would do it ten times over again. The process is simple, but it’s not necessarily easy. I often say that change is easy. It’s the most natural thing in life. It happens automatically, without any input or interference from us. The difficulty we experience when trying to change is letting go of the things that keep us from the change we desire. We tend to hold on to things in life, even those things that don’t serve us well. I call these anchors, and they keep us stuck. It will take implementation and consistency if you want to create and sustain the results long term.

I believe you have chosen this book for a reason. I believe that the philosophies and system I teach can help you get on your feet to begin living life the way you truly want. I believe this book can send you well on your way to freedom, happiness, and peace. I have watched countless clients who have suffered all their lives, who have never experienced true happiness, and those who have been through trauma and heartache get back on their feet, take control of their lives in just a matter of a few months, and live their lives completely free from debilitating anxiety and depression. It doesn’t take an extreme amount of time if you utilize the tools and techniques consistently, but it’s all up to you to implement them. It’s up to you to do the work. What you put into it, you will get out of it. I tell you this because it’s the truth and is what you must first understand if you truly want to change your experience.

Take a journey with me as I share my philosophies and teach you how I have helped so many people finally live great lives free from debilitating anxiety and depression.

PART I

UNDERSTANDING THE MIND

CHAPTER 1

MEASURING AND TRACKING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Anxiety and depression can wreak havoc on your personal, professional, and social life if it goes untreated for an extended time. Many people try their best to ignore the symptoms, thinking they will get better after a specific situation is over or when they finally get out of a particular circumstance that has triggered them into feelings or reactions of anxiety or depression. By the time most people seek help for these problems, it’s often out of their control and has taken over their lives. Once this happens, the battle can become fierce and often very painful for them and all who are involved in their life. This downward spiral can lead to despair and a distorted perception of reality that entails hopelessness and helplessness for the individual.

Over the past few decades, we have made great strides in understanding more about what anxiety and depression are as well as the difference between the two. However, much of our learnings and understandings have not become common knowledge amongst the general population. In modern society, when people feel anxious for extended periods or experience a panic attack followed by pain or pressure in the chest, they believe they are suffering from anxiety. When people experience sadness for an extended period or they are going through a mental low in their life where they cry excessively, they believe they have depression, which is usually followed by a visit to their primary care doctor or physician, where they are prescribed some form of antianxiety or antidepressant medication to help them cope. Sometimes medications can be of great assistance in managing anxiety or depression brought on by temporary external situations such as when facing the loss of a loved one or dealing with a significant sickness that interrupts the normal flow of life. But what about long-term anxiety and depression? Or when you find yourself in repeated cycles that diminish the quality of your life? What about when anxiety and depression are commonplace in your everyday existence?

Though I don’t work with medications directly, I do believe that everything has value to some degree, depending on the situation and how it is applied. Many years ago, I was prescribed Effexor XR to help me through a time of grief. Another time, when I was going through a major depression, I was prescribed Celexa. (This was before I began to live based on the philosophies in this book and understand how to work with the subconscious mind