That’S the Way It Is: Just Checking in Series 2

Copyright © 2016 by Molly Stringer.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2016904416

ISBN:       Hardcover       978-1-5144-7588-1

       Softcover       978-1-5144-7587-4

       eBook       978-1-5144-7586-7

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Rev. date: 03/22/2016

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Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Home and Family

Chapter 2 Friends

Chapter 3 Painful Times

Chapter 4 Preparation Is Essential

Chapter 5 Faith and Trusting

Chapter 6 Warnings—Be Alert

Chapter 7 Blessings upon Blessings

Chapter 8 Changes I Remember

Chapter 9 Choosing the Way

Chapter 10 Christmastime

Chapter 11 The Battles We Fight

Chapter 12 Just Do It—Give your Best

Chapter 13 Spread Kindness and Love

Chapter 14 Be Thoughtful and Sweet

Meaningful Traditions

Ending Up

To all my family and friends who encouraged me to write this book, your responses to my blogs were so encouraging and really urged me on to keep writing.

Special thanks to my sister, Jo Boggs, who constantly lifted me up with her prayers and sweet words of love and encouragement.

Introduction

Memories flood my mind as I reminisce how my journey has been a lifetime of happenings that speak to my soul with lessons that can be applied to our daily lives. These memories are conjured up at odd and sometimes inconvenient times.

As I sat in church last Sunday and the pastor began his message, my mind captured a thought of bygone days that spoke loud and clear to my mind, and I scrambled in my bag for a pen and paper to put my thoughts down. Brother Tim must have thought he had really said something profound—and he did—but I did not write that down.

It is my hope that all who read my memories and the lessons that I gleaned from them will take them to heart and identify with them and feel happiness, gain insight, and perhaps laugh as they share my memories and truths.

I might be dubbed accidental author, as when I started writing inspirational blogs, the furthest thing from my mind was writing a book or several books. When I looked at the scope of my writings and was encouraged by those who received my daily blogs to make it into a book, I finally took that plunge. So here we are—and that’s the way it is!

Molly

Chapter 1

Home and Family

Wins and Losses

Moving On

Have you ever wondered why dogs chase cars? Probably not—but it just seems to be built into some dogs to do that. I remember still with some regret our dog Ole Alec. I don’t have any regrets about the kind of dog Ole Alec was, he was a good dog. He was loyal. He patrolled the area around our farm. He could chase down a chicken mother needed for lunch. He loved to be petted. He loved the table scraps that kept him well fed—as far as I know, he never ate a kibble or bit of dog food. He would go to the field with us and roam up and down the rows as we hoed cotton, but Ole Alec loved to chase cars, and it brought his early demise.

Alec lived with us at Wellman then we moved him to Kress and then to our farm in the Sandhill/Barwise community near Floydada. All our farms were on dirt roads until we moved to Floydada. Our farm had a highway (called a farm to market road) running down one side. As we worked on the farm, Alec was always running along, sniffing and hunting jack rabbits or whatever. One day, as we were going to hoe cotton our first summer in Floydada, I called Alec to go with us. Being terrified of snakes, I just felt safer with him along. Well, a car came down the highway, traveling much faster than Alec was accustomed to on the dirt roads, his timing was off and he was run over and killed.

What a sad day this was for my brother James. It was for all of us, but Ole Alec had been with him most of his life. So that day we lost a faithful friend. That’s what I remember with regret about Ole Alec. Since that day Ole Alec died, I have had much more significant losses, but none I remember any more clearly.

As I moved from my childhood into adulthood, I fondly remembered the days of playing under the big elm trees in our yard, with not a care in the world. As I have had to deal with illness, raising my children, watching them grow, watching them suffer due to poor choices, watching their accomplishments I have had a lot of wins and some losses. I have learned to rejoice when things are good and move on to better days when painful things happen.

I remember the weddings of my daughters. They were happy occasions, but I regret that I did not make them happier for them by not being so worried about expenses and feeling burdened with many things to do. I missed out on joy. I look back and realize I have messed up many times in raising my kids. I made mountains out of mole-hills, out of fear of failure, I truly failed us all. Those were losses for me! But do you know what? I had never been next to the highway with cars moving that fast, so the mistakes I made were not malicious. They were simply misjudgments. It would be nice if we could do do-overs. So we move on.

I remember having our first and only grandchild when we were near retirement. It was a wonderful blessed time. For eleven years we had Morgan close, and she stayed with us often. She loved to be with us. We had such fun. That was a time when our neighbors, the Craders, had their two young grandsons for several years. Avery, Everett, and Morgan would play and fuss, and play and fuss. Morgan was a year older, so she considered herself the boss. Those were good times—real wins!

We have moved on and entered another phase of our lives. I was visiting with my friend Sheree. We both had granddaughters later in our careers, and they have now become teenagers and have outgrown wanting to come to Floydada, isolated from their friends, and spend time with us. So we move on. We go to them to see their plays and dance recitals. Real wins!

I was reminded of losses yesterday as I went and visited my friend Frances in the nursing home. She is so fragile, struggling to breathe, unable to get out of bed without help, not remembering most people. Our friendship spans over fifty years. I remember the spry, energetic friend who was always full of fun even in difficult times. It is a real loss to me to see her suffer, knowing that the friend of days gone by is forever gone. Real loss! But I must move on.

Regrets, yes I have some, but they do not define who I am! I am a forgiven child of the King!

John 9:4 All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned to us by God, for there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end.(TLB)

So we move on.

That’s the way it is. Don’t dwell on losses and failures. We are all winners in many areas. Look back and see the marks you have put on the lives of others and giants you raised to make the world a better place! So we move on.

Company’s Coming

Every day of our lives is spent preparing for something. I remember as a child that much of my mother’s time was spent doing the washing—preparing clean clothes for her family. This only happened once each week, but it consumed a day or two. First going to Mrs. Dean’s wash house in Wellman four miles away then hanging out the clothes on the clothesline to dry. Finally in the late evening, gathering the clothes from the clothesline, folding, starching, and ironing. Back in those days we even had to starch and iron pillowcases due to the poor quality of fabric—a lot of work!

Then there was the time-consuming task of repairing food for a growing family without much refrigeration and no freezers, no microwaves. It was all done the old-fashioned way—time-consuming! I believe that my mother would catch a couple of fryers on Sunday morning, pluck the feathers off, dress them, and have them ready to fry after church. There was no TV, so there was no Dallas Cowboys game to hurry home to watch. So we all came in, changed from our Sunday clothes, and started lunch.

Sister Jo would peel potatoes, for good ol’ mashed potatoes. Mother would get the grease hot, roll the chicken in flour, and begin to fry. And maybe Mother had picked fresh peas from the garden, shelled them on Saturday, and cooked them before going to church. There would be homemade hot rolls which mother had pinched off in little round balls and left out to rise before leaving for church. We might even cut up some okra, roll it in meal, and fry it. What a meal! But none of this happened without a lot of preparation.

Many times we would have company for Sunday dinner—it was called dinner back then, not lunch. All of the womenfolk would join in the preparation while the men sat out under the trees visiting, and then, would you believe, the men ate first!

We still do a lot of preparing today. When I am scheduled to teach Sunday school, I don’t just fly by the seat of my pants. I ponder on my material, I research, I pray, I look for colorful stories to illustrate my points.

When I plan for overnight visitors I don’t just hope the sheets in the guestroom are clean, I change the linens. I don’t just hope we can scavenger up some food, I cook something, or at least lay something out of the freezer to grill—or plan, yes plan—to do Dairy Queen or Subway.

I have prepared in the same diligent way for my life beyond this world. I believe there is a God in heaven. I believe that he prepared a way for me to come and live with him forever when I leave this earth. He prepared for me and you by sending his son Jesus to live a perfect life, sacrifice that life on the cross of Calvary, and by the shedding of his blood, cover my sins, past, present and future—and if I prepare by accepting Christ as my Savior, I will live with him forever! Amen! Yes!

Have you made that preparation? Someone once said, I would rather spend my life preparing for heaven and find out that there is not a heaven, than to go through life, thinking there is not a heaven or Hell and find out I was wrong. Think about it!

John 14:2–3 Jesus said, "In my Father’s house are many mansions—I go to prepare a place for you, and I will come again and receive you unto myself that where I am you may be also.

That’s a promise from God’s Word, given from the lips of Jesus! Amen!

That’s the way it is. Are you a preparing person? Get ready. You’re not getting any younger!

Do You Live to Please?

I believe if you have a mother—and all of us do—we want to please her. But I found out early in my young life that I did not always know what would please my mother. My mother and I had very different tastes in clothes, furniture, cars, and houses. My mother was a person who didn’t need frills or deluxe. She just wanted something that was decent and comfortable and serviceable. Me, I enjoy color, leather seats, high-heeled shoes, up-to-date furniture, going out to eat, and spending the night in hotels for rest and relaxation.

When I was in my teens, I hoed a lot of cotton. We did not get paid when we hoed the family crop. But after we were caught up, I could get a job hoeing for neighbors and would get paid. My friends Pearl, Nancy, and I hoed for Pearl’s family. I got paid. We hoed for another farmer and got paid.

We decided to go shopping for school clothes in Lubbock. Nancy was a year older and she could get her family car and drive us. We went down Broadway in Lubbock, Texas and went to Levines and Lerner. I bought several dresses that fit and looked good and were decent, but I spotted a skirt and blouse set. It had a belt and was very conservative. It was off-white with little different colored oval circles on it. It was a kind of silky material. I thought Mother would be so impressed with this dress, and even though it wasn’t my favorite I bought it to please my mother.

When I got home and showed the clothes to my mother, especially the dress I bought for her approval, she wasn’t the least bit excited about that dress. In fact, she liked the other dresses better. I think, as I look back, it was the silky material the dress was made of—probably Mother did not think it would be as durable as a cotton dress and would not launder as well. I don’t think she had a problem with the style. So I learned a lesson that day, go ahead and buy what you like and do what you enjoy instead of trying to guess what will please someone else. You will be happy and maybe they will join you.

That one incident did not stop me from trying to please my mother. I changed my expectations a bit. I learned that we don’t all have the same taste, even though we think we know what pleases others, we miss the mark sometimes. And life goes on.

One thing I know, when I was young I loved to sit in my mother’s lap and feel the soft skin on her arm. That made me feel secure. That pleased her too. The one thing that pleased my mother more than the finest gift money could buy when she got older was when I walked up on her porch, opened the door, and came to visit with her. That pleased her and she treasured that!

Another thing I know is that we should never stop trying to please our mother or our heavenly Father. He delights when we choose the path that he has for us. He doesn’t care much about what we wear or how many times we go out to eat. He only wants us to spend time with him in his vineyard doing whatever needs to be done. He doesn’t care if we have lawn chairs or recliners to sit on. He just wants us to be there with him. He is delighted when we show him our treasures. He loves to see us walk in our high heels, tell him what a good deal we got on them, and talk to him about our day. He wants to know what’s in our hearts and weighing on our minds.

He delights when we do good for others—that pleases him. He loves for us to tell others about our relationship with him. He loves for us to help those who have lost their way. He loves for us to read his book and follow the instructions there. Just as my mother was always pleased when I followed her instruction and did what she asked me to, it put a smile on her face. The same is true with God. It pleases God to see us look forward to walking with him in his garden. It pleases him for us to long to be in his presence.

In the Garden by C. Austin Miles

I come to the garden alone,

While the dew is still on the Roses,

And the voice I hear falling on my ear.

The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me and he talks with me.

And He tells me I am His own.

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

Holy Ground by Geron Davis

In His presence there is joy beyond measure

At His feet peace of mind can be found.

If you have a need I know he has the answer,

For you are standing in His presence on Holy Ground!

Ephesians 5:8–10 For though once your heart was full of darkness, now it is full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it.

Learn as you go along what pleases the Lord! Amen!

That’s the way it is. There’s nothing better than pleasing God and being in his presence—Mothers come in a close second.

Love Day

Today is Valentine’s Day. On this day, our thoughts turn to love. We think of our spouses, significant others, candy, flowers, and Cupid with his bow and arrow. I have a Valentine’s story that I have shared many times but want to relive it again today.

A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law Virginia and I decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day by going shopping, having lunch, and shopping some more. We drove to nearby Plainview in Virginia’s van. We had a good time shopping at Bealls, Burkes, the Re-run Shoppe, and Walmart. As we started home, I asked Virginia to stop at Gebo’s so I could get Bill his favorite candy—peanut patties—as a surprise. I found a big peanut patty shaped like the state of Texas and decided that would be a nice touch for my gift to him today.

I also decided to buy myself some pecan pralines. They have wonderful pralines there. I had learned this from my friend Carolyn Green. I would usually buy about ten, and they would last me awhile. So I told the cashier that in order not to rob her display in the lovely Texas-shaped basket, if she had some pralines hidden away, that I needed about ten. She said she did have some under the counter but didn’t know how many she had left because someone had come in and bought a case earlier. She also said they are on sale today—$1.39 each, not the regular $1.79.

The clerk said, after checking, that she had about a case left. Now I didn’t think anyone would really buy a case, so I asked how many were in a case. She replied, Thirty-six. I quickly calculated in my mind what a great deal this was and realized that a case would last me a long time. And at the sale price, boy, what a deal! And they keep indefinitely in the fridge. So I said, Yes, I will take a case.

Virginia and I drove back to Floydada in the van loaded with our treasures. What a fun day we had enjoyed. We started to unload my things, and Mr. Bill came out to help us. I carried some things in, and as I set them down on the island in my kitchen, I saw a small cardboard box there. I recognized it as looking just like the box my thirty-six pralines were packaged in. Immediately, I knew who had bought a case earlier in Gebo’s—my Bill.

I could not spoil his surprise, so I quickly clued Virginia into the situation and found the box I had purchased and ran and hid them. That was the Valentine’s Day that I got seventy-two pralines.

I did not tell Bill this story until many months later. I shared some pralines with others, but it took me over a year to eat all of them, and for some reason, I don’t like them quite as well as I did! The funny part of this story is that I told Bill, Please don’t buy me roses. I love them, but they cost too much, and we don’t need to spend that much money. I remembered a bill for $80 one year. Well, when it was all said and done, we spent $106 for pralines that year. So much for being conservative!

We are motivated to do lots of things because of love. When is the last time you drove to Plainview and purchased a case of pralines for someone you love? Do something that big today for someone. Do something you’ve never done before. Let at least one person today know that they are special—your life will blessed!

I know that as I release love and caring from myself, others will be blessed. I want to step outside the box today and touch a person or two with some love.

1 John 4: 12b When we love each other God lives in us and His love within us grows stronger. Verse 19: so you see, our love for Him comes as a result of His loving us first. Amen! Verse 9: God showed how much he loved us by sending His only Son. Amen!

That’s the way it is. Do something thoughtful and original today that will let some person know that they are loved and special! And I hope you get some pralines—right, Carolyn?

Response from my friend Joellen:

You and Bill sound a lot like Jackie and me. We both like peanut patties and pralines. When we go from here (Euless) to Floydada, we stop at Harrold for gas and bathroom, then I always buy four peanut patties. Two for then which we eat before we get to Vernon and two for when are on our way back to Euless. Never bought seventy-two of either, though; can’t trust myself, I would be eating one a day.

Joellen

Different Ways

Mashed, Fried, or Baked

How do you like your potatoes cooked? There are many different ways. Bill has said when he saw how my mother cooked fried potatoes, he knew I would cook them the same way—soft, fried with a little onion. I love them that way. Bill likes his potatoes French fried in lots of grease. I like them that way also.

Bill’s mom needed a few lessons in making mashed potatoes. She cooked them, left most of the water in, and mashed them. She might add a tiny bit of milk and some salt. Me, I am a master mashed potato maker—drain all the water off, add a stick of butter, some Carnation milk, some salt and pepper, and feast. These are not for calorie counters. And how about baked potatoes? They are not much good if you just bake and eat them. They need some condiments to spice them up. Many use butter, sour cream, and salt. I like salsa on my baked potato along with a bit of shredded cheddar cheese and salt. This makes them more calorie-friendly.

There are many ways to make potatoes—scalloped potatoes, soupy potatoes, hash browns—and we all have our preferences of what is best!

I’m reminded of the Elizabeth Barrett Browning writing, How do I love thee, let me count the ways? There are many ways to show our love to others. Some may give flowers, some may give diamonds, some may simply say, I love you. Others may write a poem for you. Then there are those who offer to help you with physical things. Some may just sit by your side and comfort you. There are many ways to say I love you.

There is a song titled Written in Red—that’s what God did on Calvary to show his love for us. He wrote us a love letter written in the blood of Jesus. That’s the greatest show of love that we will ever know. Amen!

Whatever it takes to float your boat in cooking your potatoes or showing you love—Let me count the ways! Just do it your way—but do it!

1 John 3: 18 Let us stop saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Amen!

I am experiencing a show of love this week as I have surgery, and both of my daughters, Christy and Melody, put their lives on hold and came to help me and support Bill as I go through the surgery and begin my recovery. How’s that?

That’s the way it is. Don’t just think about it. Do something to show your love today—flowers, candy, carry out the trash, have some potatoes cooked your or his favorite way.

Mother’s Way—Special

As spring came around, the next holiday to remember was Mother’s Day. My thoughts turned back to my own mother whose earthly presence we have missed for the last fourteen years, but my memories of her remain as keen as if she was still here. In my mind I see her doing some things that will always be there.

I remember Mother, as I called her, being a very thrifty, conservative person, but there were just some things she didn’t compromise on— Lipton tea, Folgers coffee, and Schilling black pepper. Let me memorialize Mother’s Lipton tea. It came in a small box. In later years, it had some paper-lined foil inside to keep it fresh—kind of like chewing gum wrappers. This was before tea bags with the ground-up dregs we get today. It was real tea leaves. Mother would pour some in a small pan that was stained from making some tea daily. She would brew this until it came to a boil and then let it set a while. While it was still warm, she would put some sugar in the glass pitcher—maybe nearly a cup. Then she strained the tea using a fork against the edge of the pan into the pitcher—I never knew her to have or use a strainer for this. She always managed to hold all the tea leaves back and not let them into the pitcher with just a fork. Then she would swirl the sugar around in the warm tea until it dissolved and then fill the pitcher with water. That was some good sweet iced tea. She would always add more water to the leaves and brought them to a boil again—her conservative nature—and I do the same today. I guess not having a need for a tea strainer was also part of her conservative nature. She knew how to get by with what she had.

Now coffee was a strong robust drink when she made it for my daddy. It would put hair on your chest—maybe that’s why I do not drink much coffee today and why mother always used some milk or cream in her coffee.

My mother—she was quite a gal. She used what she had with an air of elegance, and it seemed it was something special, especially her fried chicken and cherry cobbler.

I can never remember getting or making my mother a Mother’s Day card when I was a kid—I made up for it later—and that turned my mind to my own kids. I received three special cards this year. My son, Steve, is always so excited for me to see the card he chooses for me. He spends lots of time shopping for it. This year’s card had a tiger on the front. It read Mom you’ve got that something special that makes you a great mother—open the card up and this tiger is pointing to himself saying— A great kid—ME! Signed Sincerely, Steve. I loved that card.

My serious child, Cissy, sent me a card that Steve was almost as impressed with as the one he gave me. It had a picture of a cake mix in a bowl and a hand holding the mixer with the beaters, all chocolately and ready to lick. It said, A good Mom lets you lick the mixer. Inside the card said, A great Mom turns it off first! Signed Thanks for being a great mom, Love Paul and Cissy. I loved that card! The third card from my middle mischievous child was serious. It read The older I get the more I realize I will never stop needing my Mom—among many other sweet things Wow, she did well. All my kids hit a home run with their cards.

I’m glad I got to be a mother and a grandmother. It is a good thing to be. The work is hard, but if you came, hang in there. The rewards are tremendous—you get great cards!

As I remember my friends Carolyn Green and Leigh Smith who have recently lost their mothers, the pain and loss is still fresh, but I want to tell them that the sweet memories will soon wipe away all the pain and loss and you will remember good times, sweet times, times when you see yourself doing things exactly like your mom did.

This should remind us to be good examples for those who come after us so they can walk down memory lane with a smile on their faces. Knowing that life is never perfect, but we can make it good—filled with happiness, love, and joy.

Live well

Laugh often

Love much—Amen!

I have maybe passed some of this on to my daughter who is the mother of our only grandchild. The following was posted on Facebook to Melody by her daughter, Morgan.

So, yesterday was Mother’s day and my mom is the sweetest, cutest, and coolest Mom on the face of this planet I am so grateful that she birthed me, well first because I literally wouldn’t be here and second because I can’t imagine my life without this woman. I am who I am because of her. She’s taught me to be kind, compassionate, giving, accepting, strong, and to have sense of humor. So thank you Mom for everything you do, which is a lot. I love you so much! Every time I see your picture I think it’s me, so I also thank you for this stunning beauty that I so obviously got from you—Morgan What a kid!

We are leaders of the pack—what comes after us is up to us. Will you step up to the challenge of showing strength and character to those who are trying to follow? Don’t confuse them—be real!

Hebrews12:12–13 So take a new grip with your tired hands, stand firm on your shaky legs, and mark out a smooth path for your feet so that those who follow you though weak, will not fall and hurt themselves, but become strong. Amen!

That’s the way it is. Many of us have a lot to live up to because of the pattern that was set before us—I will try—I still continue to use Lipton tea, Schilling black pepper, and sometimes Folgers coffee. But I will not strain my tea with a fork—there are better ways! Yes!

Are You Thirsty?

Where Does Your Water Come From?

The first source of water to supply our home with drinking, cooking, and bathing water that I recall was on the farm south of Wellman, Texas. We had a windmill, and when the wind blew, we had water. It came up a small pipe and filled the barrel beneath it. We would carry water into the house in buckets, and there was always a bucket of water in the cabinet. There was a dipper nearby for getting a drink. But what I loved to do most was get a cool drink of water straight from the well. I may have used a dipper or simply cupped my hands and drank from them.

There were days that the wind didn’t blow, and I have known my brave big brother Wes to climb the ladder and turn the wheel so we could have some water.

We later got an overhead tank, and the water was piped up to it and then into the house. The tank would hold several hundred gallons so we could always have water even if the wind didn’t blow for a few days. But I still loved to go directly to the well and get the fresh pumped cool water!

We later moved to Kress, Texas, to a farm with irrigation wells. The pipes that came from those wells were eight to ten inches in diameter. That was a sight to see, all of that cool rushing clean water coming out of the ground. We loved to get a drink of that water. We loved to wade down the ditch where the water flowed and splash ourselves. I learned early that water is precious, and cool clean water was a real blessing.

Life went on and we as a people took this precious water for granted. We contaminated it with leaking buried fuel tanks, fertilizers, chemicals, and poisons, which found their way into our underground water supply, so well water isn’t so pure anymore. We must treat and drink water from lakes to meet our needs. We have lost a wonderful dear treasure of pure cool water.

This reminds me of my life at times. I don’t value and treasure the pure, clean things in life. I contaminate my life with worthless things, which only last for a short while, and I find myself with darkness that contaminates my soul. I find myself longing for the clean, pure things in life. We can’t turn the clock back, but we can start a new day in our lives any day we choose.

Me, I want to get back to drinking from the well, the water that Jesus is holding out to me. How about you? Do you miss those sweet times drinking from his dipper?

John 4:14 Jesus said, But the water I give them, becomes a perpetual spring within them, watering them forever—the woman said, Please sir, give me some of that water.

My prayer today is Please, sir, give me some of that water.

That’s the way it is. Do you want the dirty contaminated water of the world or do you want that perpetual spring bubbling in your soul? A bottle of Dasani doesn’t compare with pure, clean well water! Amen!

Is It Worth the Effort?

I remember thinking back over my life about things I put a lot of effort into. Was the outcome worth what it took to accomplish that goal? One thing that I certainly worked on for several years was finding a good, steady mate for myself and good father for the future children I might have. That turned out okay. It was worth the risk— fifty-seven years and counting.

I always did my homework and made decent grades. That really paid off when I decided to pursue further education in nursing. Bill and I chose not to sleep in on Sunday mornings. We took our kids to church and made a difference in their life choices of vocations and mates. So all of those efforts were very worthwhile.

I remember when I was in my mid-forties and Bill was in his fifties. Our kids were educated and away from home. We began to think about preparing for our retirement. We worked hard. I would finish my job in nursing at the hospital at 3:00 p.m., quickly drive out to the farm, and pull all the double-hitched