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    Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win
    Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win
    Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win
    Ebook118 pages2 hours

    Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win

    By Nita Martin

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    About this ebook

    In the era of #MeToo this book is uniquely relevant. It is only book written by someone who has been sexually harassed, complained, was terminated, sued and won settlements—twice!

    This is how she did it. This is the book written to help you navigate the murky waters of sexual harassment. You don’t have to take it anymore! And if it occurs, there are steps you can take to make sure it stops, and that you are adequately compensated for whatever you have endured. From having to perform in a hostile work environment to being terminated if you complain, this book covers it all.

    You will probably find yourself saying “yes, me too” as the stories of discrimination and harassment unfold. More importantly, you will learn how to protect yourself before, during, and after the incidents. This is NOT a text-book outlining the legalities of sexual harassment. You know when you have been harassed. This narrative is a blueprint for how to prevail. How to fight back and WIN!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNita Martin
    Release dateMay 14, 2018
    Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win
    Author

    Nita Martin

    Nita Martin has spent the past 30 years navigating the corporate world, while bringing up two boys alone. With a degree in communications from the University of Washington, she started in journalism, going from print to broadcast, before she discovered her affinity for marketing and advertising. Beginning as a copywriter, she quickly climbed to senior positions, including a stint as Vice President, Product Development Worldwide. She had the opportunity to travel the globe, seeking out museum collections and artworks for her employer The Franklin Mint to market. She moved on to develop her own products, appearing on HSN and QVC regularly. She has served as both Marketing Director and Creative Director for Doubleday Books in New York. She recently retired to Maryland, where she spends her time hiking, biking, reading and of course, writing. She has a novel currently underway.

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      Book preview

      Harassed? How to Fight Back and Win - Nita Martin

      With special thanks to my sons Zach and Nathan Martin who put up with a lot so that I could have the kind of career I had. And thanks to good friends like Carol Javes who saw me through this. And some who even had a hand in its execution. Miki LaMont, who designed the cover, along with Pat Heineman and Leslie Wagner, who gave me options and support. And thanks to Lynn Webb for her superb proofreading and editing skills. And to many others who listened with patience while I relived it all on paper.

      #MeToo

      How to Fight Back and Win

      A Woman's Guide to Sexual Harassment

      Nita Martin

      Copyright Nita Martin 2018

      Published at Smashwords

      Chapter 1

      When You’re Not Going to Take It Anymore

      As we’re discovering, many, if not most, women are subjected to some type of sexual harassment in the workplace that ranges from offensive comments about their appearance to out-and-out demands for sex. They’re forced to put up with it, often to keep their jobs. They are under siege and subject to the whims of the men who have power over them. What can happen if they refuse to put up with the behavior, or complain about it? A lot. A woman who balks at a boss’s overly personal touches or refuses his advances has bruised his ego and damaged her own standing. She is a constant reminder of his embarrassment, so it’s not surprising that he would want her to just go away. If he doesn’t dismiss her, he will feel the need to punish her, by withholding promotions and salary increases, by constantly demeaning or berating her, or by simply ignoring her, causing her to flounder in her job.

      Making a formal complaint about a boss or a male co-worker isn’t the solution a woman might think it will be. When she complains, retaliation is often swift and painful. And by the way, retaliation for making harassment or discrimination complaints is illegal. She may get no action at all, or just lip-service. She may be harassed in other ways: sabotaging her work, demands that can’t possibly be met, verbal abuse. All meant to make her give up and leave. Often, she will be eased out of her job. In addition to the eventual financial toll, there is a huge emotional toll as well. The experience can haunt her for decades.

      Over the course of my career, like most people, I’ve had to put up with quite a bit, including bosses who ranged from good to crazy-as-a-loon, to downright viciously mean. Unfortunately, being a jerk is not illegal. But the law has set certain boundaries. I’ve had a lot of jobs and made a lot of money. But I’ve also had long periods of downtime, forced upon me involuntarily because I dared to draw the line at overt sexual harassment, was fired for doing so, and then branded a troublemaker in spite of the fact that I was in the right. A woman who lodges a complaint against a boss or co-worker, particularly in a predominantly male environment, can expect one of three things: action will be taken and the behavior will stop (unlikely), she will be ostracized or transferred (likely), she will be terminated (it happened to me twice with two complaints, so the odds are pretty good). In all likelihood, one thing will happen to the man who harassed her: nothing.

      Twice I went up against corporations, filing sexual harassment suits. And twice I succeeded in what appeared to be David and Goliath circumstances. It wasn’t easy. I suffered a great deal financially, going from major 6 figure salaries to no income at all, going through my savings and having to scrape by somehow. And I suffered emotionally. Women who want to pursue the path that I did should be ready for some major depression. I got by with the help of some wonderful and supportive friends. In the process, I learned a lot about protecting myself. And I learned that being good at what you do, and dedicated to your job, won’t save you when the boys want you out. On the whole, the corporate world doesn’t care about fairness.

      NOTE TO YOU: When you prepare to battle an employer, facts matter, proof matters. Be prepared with documentation. It’s easy if you plan for it. I’ll say that a lot in this book.

      The #MeToo movement has brought sexual harassment to the forefront with a virtual avalanche of women coming forward to go on record with their experiences, while calling the men responsible to task. It’s taken down some very powerful men and brought to light a system of sexual harassment and abuse that has been going on as long as there have been women in industry.

      There is also a deluge of women who were reportedly paid astronomical sums to keep quiet about the appalling behavior of celebrities and public figures. However, that doesn’t speak to what ordinary women in business can expect. Wealthy and powerful men have been buying the silence of their victims for years. But women in the enormous web of everyday corporate America or working for smaller family undertakings aren’t likely to find a payoff for their silence. They will have to fight for their rights.

      And in nearly all the cases of past harassment that are now coming to light, one question that the offending men and their supporters keep asking is… Why are they coming forward now about something they say happened decades ago? That alone is viewed as proof that the accusations must be false. And the behavior itself is glossed over in favor of victimizing the women once more by calling them liars.

      There’s a very good reason why they didn’t dare to make accusations decades ago. Power, or rather the lack of it. In instance after instance, women were retaliated against while the men who harassed them were protected by a good old boys' network. In a sexual harassment complaint, the woman bringing it was likely to suffer repercussions, including losing her job, while serial harassers were allowed to keep theirs, in most cases without abandoning their offensive behavior. Even today, men like President Donald Trump state over and over again that the accused men deny the incidents ever happened. And that seems to be enough, even when there is overwhelming evidence, such as the reports of Alabama senate candidate Roy Moore’s behavior around young girls that resulted in his expulsion from the local mall. And what about the documented payoffs to Trump’s own accusers? Deny, deny, deny.

      Another factor was a culture of silence among women. Me, too wasn’t in our vocabulary. We didn’t share our experiences with other women. If we had, we would have discovered that it wasn’t just us. Men who harass and abuse women seldom have just one victim. It’s a pattern with them. Now that dozens of women are coming forward to point to one man, as in the case of Harvey Weinstein, it’s apparent that the actions of serial harassers knew virtually no bounds.

      And yet the mass harassment of women went unreported and unchecked. People who knew or suspected looked the other way. And the victims suffered in silence.

      That was the landscape in which I lived, worked and in which I was harassed. But I prevailed.

      The #MeToo movement has given us a voice. But has it made things easier for the average working woman in a hostile work environment? Maybe yes, maybe no.

      That’s why it’s imperative to be systematic and strategic when you find yourself in that position. There are ways of going about making complaints and filing suits that will insure you can prevail.

      This book is about what happens to women in business, including hostility from male colleagues and corporations, with the ultimate demeaning act being sexual harassment. My own road to eventual harassment claims was fraught with everything from deliberate meanness to just plain stupidity. To the extent that at times it seemed downright hilarious…if it hadn’t been for the consequences.

      This is the story of how an average woman can beat the boys, often at their own game of because I said so. And it’s meant to be a primer for women who are being harassed and want to do something about it. I’ve included a lot about the environment in which I finally found myself because it all came to impact the eventual lawsuits I filed. So, bear with me. Some of it may even seem familiar to you.

      Chapter 2

      Getting My Act Together and Taking It on the Road

      My act started in Seattle with a degree in communications and a job with Avon Products as a district sales manager. Seven months after they hired me, they flew me to New York to meet some people at their corporate headquarters in Manhattan. I didn’t realize I was interviewing for a job.

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