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    A Risk Assessment of Life
    A Risk Assessment of Life
    A Risk Assessment of Life
    Ebook63 pages35 minutes

    A Risk Assessment of Life

    By Colin Roberts

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    About this ebook

    A lighthearted look at some of the hazards you face in everyday life and some creative ways to deal with them.
    Who hasn't had to deal with such annoying things as Odd Sock Syndrome, or Dressing in the Dark?
    How do you deal with bathroom scales and team bonding courses?
    The answers are all here, though you may want to avoid some of the solutions!
    And please pay no attention to Daisy the cow.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherColin Roberts
    Release dateSep 3, 2016
    ISBN9781370113804
    A Risk Assessment of Life
    Author

    Colin Roberts

    My wife,Terri, and I live in Northern California and have 3 children and eight grandchildren. Our first joint book 'Cornelius Proctor the Animal Doctor' was conceived a few years ago and has finally made it to publishing on Smashwords. Hopefully there will be more books to come in the future.With me being British (originally from Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire) and my wife being from Muncie, Indiana, we often have 'discussions' over the spelling and meaning of words. Often, from these discussions, a possible story line will emerge that we can use in our next book.

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      Book preview

      A Risk Assessment of Life - Colin Roberts

      Introduction

      I was recently asked to carry out a risk assessment of my job (I test payroll software for a living – not the most dangerous occupation, until you fail to notice that rather high tax figure before your client does). With the task itself being somewhat mundane, my mind wandered, and I started thinking about the hazards and risks to my life in general and jotted down a few notes.

      Generally speaking, risk assessment is about identifying something that is potentially bad, the likelihood of it happening, deciding what the consequences would be (and hence its severity), and what steps you can take to avoid it happening. The rest of this book addresses a variety of hazards that may or may not pose a risk in my life or yours.

      Ok, so they are mostly tongue-in-cheek assessments, but accidents do happen…..

      Enjoy!

      PS: Please ignore any comments from Daisy the cow. She’s just upset because I didn’t hear the alarm this morning and was late getting her to the top field.

      Assessment: Getting run over by a bus

      Likelihood:

      High, especially if you live on or near a bus route. Even so, in my experience, the risk of this is very low as buses tend not to run whenever I happen to be relying on them. Special note: In London the buses go around in clusters, therefore there is the additional risk of being run over by several buses in a single incident.

      Damage/Severity:

      To the bus – virtually nothing at all. It will hardly notice that it has squashed you to a pulp. To you – not so good. Should you survive (a low probability) you won’t be feeling too good for some time after the accident.

      Measures to take:

      Don’t buy a bus ticket or accept one as a gift. This will definitely reduce the risk

      Look both ways before stepping out into the road. Buses tend to be big and noisy. If you spot something big and noisy heading down the road, then it’s best to let it go by before trying again.

      Stand at a bus stop at 5pm on a Friday. You are almost guaranteed not to see a bus at this time.

      Spend your entire life in the middle of a field where there are no roads. Although a little extreme, this greatly diminishes the risk of being run over by a bus. However, the field should be chosen carefully. Try to avoid fields where there are bulls or combine harvesters.

      What to do if it happens:

      Lay still (in all likelihood you won’t be able to move anyway, but rolling around shouting and screaming in agony is just attention seeking).

      Take a note of the bus number plate, and the route number. This will be needed for the ensuing insurance claim. If practical, also note down the weather conditions, the road conditions and what size shoe the driver was wearing.

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