SEXED: Tales of a Textrix

SEXED: Tales Of A Textrix

By River Huston

Copyright 2011 River Huston

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

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Introduction

This book contains questions I have been fortunate enough to receive over the last 2 years through texts, emails and the rare letter. A majority of the texts messages came from audience members who attended my show SEXED, an interactive performance on sex, love and relationships. Many people asked the same question in different variations so I condensed some of the questions into one question. The three most popular topics of discussion are: 1. Penis size. This topic was most popular among men who confessed they are plagued with insecurity about their own endowment. 2. Female orgasm. This question came from women who were struggling with this issue and from men wanting to give women orgasms. 3. Anal sex. Inquiring minds just want to know.

The last chapter in this book is autobiographical. I have always used my life experiences as a way to educate, entertain and inspire people to live the best life they can regardless of challenges. I have many stories to share. I am both a recovering alcoholic and anorexic and I am also a person living with HIV.

In many cultures, including our own, the prevailing attitude is that sex is sinful, dirty, bad, and scary. It has become taboo, something we should not discuss. The topic is then only ventured in effort to tell people not to do it because they will die or get some horrible disease. The issue of sex is also a psychological trigger used as a tool by ad companies to sell everything from automobiles to self-esteem. The purpose of my work in this field and this book is to answer questions about sex, love, relationships and life in general in the best way that I can. My intention is not to moralize or demoralize sex neither is it to advocate one to have or not to have sex. My goal is to give the reader the answers to the questions they asked.

People often do not ask their family, church or even doctors these questions because they do not want to be judged. There is so much shame, guilt and fear surrounding the topic of sex. I wanted to create a safe space in my performances and in this book where you can find simply the facts as best I know them and researched them.

Contents

Chapter 1: ANAL INTERCOURSE

Chapter 2: BODY IMAGE

Chapter 3: BREASTS

Chapter 4: CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

Chapter 5: CUM

Chapter 6: FEMALE ORGASM

Chapter 7 FETISHES

Chapter 8: GENERAL

Chapter 9: GENDER PREFERENCES

Chapter 10: INTERCOURSE

Chapter 11: MASTURBATION

Chapter 12: MEN

Chapter 13: MALE ORGASM

Chapter 14: NOT INTERESTED

Chapter 15: ORAL SEX

Chapter 16: PENISES

Chapter 17: RELATIONSHIPS

Chapter 18: SAFETY

Chapter 19: SEXUAL ASSAULT

Chapter 20: VAGINAS

Chapter 21: VIRGINITY

Chapter 22: WOMEN

Chapter 23: Everything you ever wanted to ask a recovering alcoholic with AIDS (ME)

Chapter 24: SEX QUIZ

Chapter 25: SEX QUIZ ANSWERS

About River Huston

References

Performances 2010-2011

INDEX

Chapter 1

ANAL INTERCOURSE

1. Is anal sex safe? I heard it’s dangerous.

It is safe as long as you use a condom and the person has no anal abnormalities that might cause injury. If at anytime during anal intercourse you are feeling sharp pains or anything besides pressure, stop. You can try again in a little bit but if pain persists talk to your doctor. Do not be afraid to bring up this topic. If your doctor has a hard time with it find another physician.

2. What is the best way to have anal sex?

You need to talk to your partner and make sure they are okay with it. Once that line of communication is established you need to use a condom. Start with foreplay to get your partner aroused beforehand. It is always good to start with a finger or very small dildo and include lots of water-soluble lubricant. Go slow, just play in the anal region till you feel your partner is relaxed before penetration of penis, finger or dildo. Once they say they are ready, go slow, communicate, and ask if this is okay. If at anytime the person receiving anal penetration asks you to stop it is important to respect that no matter where you are in your arousal level. Anal intercourse is not for everyone but for many it can be a very pleasurable experience if you communicate and go slow to start.

3. How can anal sex feel more comfortable?

If you go slow and start with a finger or smaller objects, over time the anus stretches and you learn to relax the muscles. If you do an enema beforehand you can help relieve pressure by making more room.

4. Where does it go when you ejaculate in a girl’s butt?

Most of the semen will come out due to gravity and relaxation. Ejaculate will likely not come out of the anus immediately following anal sex due to the anal sphincter muscle closing. Once you are relaxed most will be expelled and either start to leak out of the anus as it does the vagina, or more commonly, you will feel as if you need to either have a bowel movement or pass gas. When you do either of these actions your partner's semen will ooze out. Gravity is also a factor, if you immediately get up it after anal intercourse it will come out faster than if you remain horizontal. Some of the semen will also be absorbed into the walls of the rectum.

5. Is it possible for men to have an anal orgasm?

Both men and women can have an orgasm through stimulation to the anus.

6. What are the long-term risks of having anal intercourse?

There is the possibility of the weakening of the rectal walls and opening to the anus, which will cause very minor leakage. You will barely notice it but it will increase itching in the area due to the influx of bacteria from leakage. If you are having unprotected anal intercourse with several partners or a partner who may not be monogamous there is the likelihood you will contract an STD.

7. Why is there such a taboo against anal sex?

It is often associated with homosexuality and unfortunately we still have prejudice against homosexuals. Also since it is not a form of procreation and it’s only purpose is pleasure we have a difficult time dealing with that idea. I believe we have something I call erotaphobia in this country and anything associated with sexual pleasure brings discomfort to a segment of our population. This translates into negative thinking around sexual acts performed strictly for pleasure.

8. Can anal intercourse give you constipation?

If your colon is already full it can contribute to constipation but it will not cause a chronic constipation.

9. What are your thoughts on anal?

It is up to each individual’s personal preference. The most important thing is to be safe by using lots of lubricant on the outside of the condom and going slow to start.

Chapter 2

BODY IMAGE

10. Do you believe our focus on physical beauty is harmful?

Yes, it causes low self-esteem, eating disorders and general dissatisfaction with our lives. I think coming to understand how this attitude permeates so much of our lives is the first step in not becoming a victim of this thinking.

11. Why do people value physical attributes above everything else?

It is what we are taught through media, family and society.

12. How do you deal with being called fat even if you think you are not fat?

It takes thick skin but you need to recalibrate how you think. Get strong in your belief about yourself and when someone says something that is upsetting you will be able to shake it off. My friend, Anita says, You do not want to be at the mercy of what the last person said to you. No matter how thin I have been there was always someone who said I would look better thinner. I have learned to ignore those sentiments.

13. How do you get over feeling uncomfortable with your body?

After millions of hours of negative input it takes time to instill positive thoughts. Do not allow yourself the luxury of falling into the bad habits of calling yourself names. Come up with something easy and just stick with it. I do not spend a lot of time in the mirror. I know if I do, I will start to criticize so I admire instead of examine. I look in the mirror make sure everything is clean and on straight and say, Your cute, and get out of there.

Short of plastic surgery, not much is going to change, so don’t lament it. Some days are worse than others and on those days I am especially kind and call on the part of myself that cherishes and loves me unconditionally and from there I am able to start my day over.

I will add something about weight loss here since our culture is so obsessed with body shape. If you want to lose weight, eat well and exercise but focus on how good it makes you feel, not weight loss. A diet mentality is a brutal state of mind. For many of us with body issues there is no winning when it comes to diets. It is an endless cycle of diet, cheat, repent, repeat. Instead focus on hunger, when you feel hungry: eat and get in touch with the sensations of being full and when you sense you are close to fullness; stop. There are many books out there on mindful eating including Geneen Roth, Thich Nhat Hanh and Michelle May.

14. Why do you say you love your back fat and cellulite?

Because l have cellulite and back fat and life