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Memory-Lane Monday: Now, that’s excitement

opinion
Jun 22, 20201 min

The things you can learn by chance.

Computerworld  |  Shark Tank
Credit: Computerworld / IDG

It’s the 1990s, and this drugstore chain is adding the first Windows NT machine to its previously all-Unix server room. And naturally, all the PC and network techs are gathered around to watch the process — including this pilot fish.

“Everyone is very excited,” says fish. “We have the new server set up and we’re configuring it for services.

“Then the Halon alarm goes off.”

That’s when fish and her cohorts discover some things they didn’t know before — such as the fact that the room’s automatic door is set to lock if the fire-suppression system is triggered.

And the fact that there’s no phone in the room.

And the fact that no one’s cellphone will work in the shielded, basement server room.

Fortunately, says fish, this was only a test; someone in charge of the help desk decided to test the Halon alarm to see how audible it was.

“He discovered that the alarm is quite audible — as is the screaming of six people.”

sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

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