"There are so many things I wish I would have been taught in school about sex, but at the top of the list sits what to expect afterward. Countless articles and conversations center around what to do during sex—from achieving better foreplay to choosing sex toys—but what about when you’re done? Even our popular media doesn’t help us here, typically leading up to things getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, only to cut away to billowing curtains in the sunlight or a couple making pancakes in each other’s shirts. The reality is that to best prepare for what we might encounter after having sex—the good and the bad—we have to know about them.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all explanation for what will happen to you, specifically after sex. The endless possibilities for sex positions and movements can lead to various bodily responses. Sometimes, you might feel as if you’re floating down from the most incredible high, while others may be confused over the nausea suddenly raging in your stomach. We know that sex affects the body, mind, and emotions all in one, but what does that actually mean? What exactly happens to your body after sex? I sought out expert-backed info to help break it down.
Emily Torres, Nurse Practitioner
Emily Torres is a registered nurse practitioner specializing in women’s health, labor, and delivery. She is passionate about teaching women about every aspect of their sexual health and pre-natal to post-natal journey.
First of all, what constitutes sex?
When we think about what sex is, the response is completely individual. Sex can be penetrative (with a penis or toy), oral, manual by finger stimulation, or solo masturbation. How you choose to define sex is unique to you, but it comes in many different forms, all of which are just as valid as the other. All forms of stimulation follow the same arc of the sexual response cycle—a commonly referred-to model of the physical and emotional changes that take place before, during, and after sex. The cycle is broken down into four phases: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Each phase comes with its symptoms and common experiences; however, it’s necessary to understand that every sexual experience is unique.
While studies have helped to carve a general framework of human body responses to sex, remember that frameworks aren’t able to account for the full spectrum of experiences a person can have. It’s likely that you’ll have, or have had, a sexual encounter that doesn’t fit neatly into the four categories above. Maybe you or your partner do not reach climax—does that mean something about your experience is wrong? Of course not. Allowing space for any kind of bodily response after sex (and knowing when to consult a doctor if needed) can create a healthier and more knowledgeable approach to sexuality.
What happens to your body after sex?
Your body may feel more relaxed
When you orgasm or ejaculate, your brain releases hormones like oxytocin and prolactin, the latter of which is deeply associated with feeling sleepy. Clinical Psychologist and Sleep Medicine Expert Dr. Michael Breus writes that additionally, the “production of cortisol—a hormone that induces alertness and excitement—decreases following orgasm.” This makes it easier to relax both your body and your mind naturally. “Feeling sleepy after an orgasm is not limited to sex with a partner,” Brues adds, “studies have also linked better sleep with having an orgasm through masturbation.”
“If you’ve ever felt more attached to your partners after sleeping with them and started to daydream about romantic walks in the park together, blame oxytocin.”
No matter how you experience climax, the result will likely have you counting sheep in no time. If you or your partner do not reach orgasm, the sleepy feelings of relaxation may not be as pronounced. Those feelings of relaxation come from the resolution stage of the sexual response cycle as the body returns to an average level of function and the heart rate slows.
You may feel more attached to your partner
I bet you’ve heard of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” As much as I assumed it was a bit of a stretch, the claim is valid. During and after sex, oxytocin floods the brain and causes enhanced feelings of intimacy. This connection is heavily linked to positive romantic partnerships, as the same release of chemicals in the brain helps build trust. The release of oxytocin starts happening in the arousal and desire phase of the sexual response cycle, continuing through the orgasm phase. So, if you’ve ever felt more attached to your partners after sleeping with them and started to daydream about romantic walks in the park together, blame oxytocin.
You may feel euphoric and less inhibited
Another chemical released after sex is the crowd favorite, dopamine. Otherwise known as the “feel-good” hormone, it releases into your bloodstream when you’re engaged in acts of pleasure—so yes, sex, according to the Cleveland Clinic. It acts as a reward system for the brain and motivates you to seek more of that feeling. Clinical psychologist Jennifer Sweeton notes that the portions of your brain responsible for social judgment and self-inhibition shut off during sex, which may be why we say that “love is blind,” Sweeton says. If you’ve ever noticed yourself slowly becoming less self-conscious the longer you’re involved in a sexual activity, this is a perfect example. This “neural disinhibition” helps achieve orgasm, says Liberos Founder, Nicole Prause, PhD, and is unique to those with a vagina. Those feelings queuing Ari’s God is a Woman in your head? They’re real.
You may experience vaginal itching
In most cases, feeling a little itchy after intercourse might be due to the friction of penetration, dry skin, or reactions to ingredients in your chosen condoms and lube. As NHS doctor and UK-based femfresh health expert Dr. Frankie Jackson-Spence says, “The most likely cause of irritation during sex will be inadequate lubrication.” She adds, however, “Other infections such as sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause irritation, discomfort, and itching of the vagina and vulval skin.”
You may experience bleeding
When I became sexually active, this was the symptom I experienced the most—and it really scared me. Little did I know that the friction involved with intercourse or masturbation can lead to small tears in the tissue of the vagina or mild cervical inflammation. Bleeding during sex is normal and is “usually nothing to worry about and will resolve with time,” according to Dr. Sherry Ross, author of She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. Period. The blood could be coming from the vagina itself or the cervix and could even be blood related to the menstrual cycle if you’re ovulating or just finished a period. However, if you are concerned about bleeding during or after sex, always consult with your doctor.
“The portions of your brain responsible for social judgment and self-inhibition shut off during sex, which may be why we say that ‘love is blind.'”
You are at a higher risk for UTIs and other infection
While there are so many benefits to sex, any kind of sexual activity does put you at risk for UTIs and other types of infections. Emily Torres, a Registered Nurse Practitioner specializing in Women’s Health, mentions that sexual activity—whether from intercourse, oral, or other foreign objects—can introduce bacteria into the urethra and urinary tract. This is why sexual aftercare is so important—more on that later.
You may have an increased heart rate and flushed skin
Sex is a cardiovascular exercise that causes the heart to pump hard and fast. Have you ever looked in the mirror after getting down and dirty and noticed a flush or rash across your chest or cheeks? I have, and it sent me straight to the Google search bar. As it turns out, flushed skin on your chest after sex is totally normal and is a normal part of each stage of the sexual response cycle. Sex flush, as it’s referred to, can appear different for everyone—some people only get a rosy glow, while others experience blotches in varying shades of pink and red. It can sometimes be so intense that it almost resembles a rash. As your heart rate decreases, so will the shades of red on your skin.
You might feel sad
If you’ve ever felt a wave of sadness wash over you after sex, you are not alone. It’s normal to feel emotional or hyper-sensitive after sex. This can include feelings of sadness and depression, known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD). By definition, this means the onslaught of negative emotions following consensual sexual activity, with symptoms ranging from anxiety and frustration to shame. While there are various reasons PCD can occur, not reaching orgasm, hormonal changes, and mental health problems can contribute to these feelings.
How to take care of your body after sex
No matter what stage of the sexual response cycle you get to, it’s best to follow some general body-care steps after engaging in any kind of sexual activity. Believe it or not, there is some merit to the “go pee” order we’ve heard since college. “UTIs are common in women and can be closely tied to sexual activity, though not always related,” says Torress. While studies have not proven that urinating always reduces the risk of UTIs, many women find it helpful. Even if your partner isn’t knowingly moving a toy, penis, finger, or tongue from your anus to your vagina, there is a lot of opportunity to move bacteria towards your urethra. Peeing within 30 minutes of intercourse is a good rule of thumb.
“Sex can change your PH levels,” Torres says, “so it’s important to use a special body wash or wipes to balance it.” She recommends avoiding scents and opting for clean, gentle wipes or soaps. Cleaning the outside is all you need to do, too! “Never put something inside to clean your vagina. They are self-cleaning but sometimes need help ensuring nothing from outside gets inside.”
While symptoms such as itching are usually temporary, try swapping out your condoms for latex-free brands if you suspect a potential latex allergy. If you notice itchiness persisting or experience other symptoms, consult with a medical professional about potential infections or allergic reactions. It is also imperative to clean your sex toys safely and effectively after each use to limit the spread of bacteria.
And, of course, check in with yourself emotionally, too. As much as sex is a physical act, the intimacy of it all is highly emotional. Communicate with your partner and be kind to your body and mind throughout the process.
Sydney Cox, Contributing Sex & Relationships Writer
Sydney Cox is a Chicago-based writer and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about exploring the complexities of human connections and teaching readers to advocate for themselves. Sydney’s work has been featured in various publications, where they aim to foster open and honest conversations.