"There is something so profoundly sensual about the human neck. It is widely accepted as a pleasure point, and you’ve likely known about neck kisses since your first-ever makeout session. Little gets me going quite as much as some attention to the nape of my neck; it sets me up for a home run (if you know what I mean). After talking to some friends, I realized it’s more common than I thought—it’s literally science. Why does stimulation in this area feel so good, and how can you maximize the pleasure? It’s not just the stimulation from kisses; you can add in breath play and tease… the list goes on. Ahead, I’m sharing a little about why the neck is such an erogenous zone, how to know if it works for you, and how to get started maximizing this pleasure for yourself.
Why neck stimulation feels so good
Though there are certainly people out there who hate any attention on their necks whatsoever, this area is considered to be a pretty erogenous zone. Women actually ranked the neck above the nipples when it comes to pleasure points in a study done by the Journal Cortex. I couldn’t agree more. I’ve always wondered why my neck is such a sweet spot, so I dove into the research.
The neck is sensitive to touch because eight pairs of spinal nerve endings in the cervical spine stimulate muscle movement and provide sensation to your shoulder, arms, and hands. When these nerve endings are stimulated, they can trigger the release of oxytocin in the brain, which impacts arousal and intimacy. This is also one of the more vulnerable areas of the body and susceptible to injury. The intimacy of vulnerability is psychological, and even just willingly exposing the neck to your partner can be a major turn-on. (If you’ve ever wondered why the media has preyed on humanity’s mass love of vampires, it might have something to do with their fangs—and the fact that they go for the neck.)
How to know if neck stimulation is right for you
It may take some time and experimentation to find what kind of touch works for you—or if it does at all. You may be someone who draws the line at light neck kissing, or you may go for a little nibbling action. You may even be interested in experimenting with breath play, but it’s also cool if you don’t love the idea of any contact in this area—there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all situation.
If you’re looking to add in a little neck action with a partner, the first step is to engage in an honest conversation about your desires, interests, and boundaries, as is always the case when changing up your sex life. Open lines of communication are key when it comes to experimentation, and it may be worth establishing a safe word or signal should the stimulation or action ever become too much.
How to start maximizing the pleasure of the neck
Going in for a neck kiss can happen as a natural extension of a steamy make-out session, but it doesn’t need to stop there. It’s important to remember that everyone is different, so what turns one person on may be less than pleasant for another.
Go in and start softly
Unless you know your partner prefers a little tooth action, start with soft, gentle kisses down the back and sides of the neck. Pay special attention to the nape of the neck—the area at the back of your neck just below your hairline. For many people, this spot is particularly sensitive and can be accessed from behind quite easily (which is fun as foreplay or during intercourse)! If that doesn’t do it for your partner—or even if it does—try moving towards the collarbone and the front of the neck to see what makes their toes curl.
Talk about hickeys, then avoid or embrace them
Sucking on your partner’s neck can be a huge turn-on, but if the duration is too long, it might lead to a hickey. Sometimes known as a love bite, a hickey is a dark red or purple bruise caused by intense suction. Though typically associated with the thin skin on the neck, you really can get them anywhere. If your goal is to avoid hickeys, suck your partner’s neck lightly and briefly, taking care not to suck the same spot more than once. I personally don’t want a love bite, but I do understand the appeal. A partner giving me an unwanted (and very visible) mark can be a deal breaker, so communicate with your partner about comfortability.
Add some tongue
If you’re looking to heat things up a little more, alternate between kisses and a little bit of tongue. Licking the neck may seem weird in theory, but it can really help move things in a hot and heavy direction. Bonus points if you gently blow on the places where your tongue has been—the cool sensation on the skin will make them shiver with pleasure and anticipation. The neck is also a great place to try out some temperature play with ice cubes or cooling gels if you’re into that!
Don’t stop at the neck
Shake things up by kissing, licking, and sucking other areas of your partner’s body—such as their lips, collarbone, shoulders, breasts, or chest in between neck kisses. Peppering in the sensual neck kisses throughout all of sexy time keeps the anticipation high and the sensation as strong as possible!
Combine it all
While neck kisses can be excellent foreplay, there is no harm in adding them in while other things are happening. Kiss, suck, and lightly grab your partner’s neck during intercourse or while you bring them closer to the edge with your fingers or sex toy of choice. Whether you’re in missionary or going at it from behind, sneaking in a few sensual nibbles will surely kick your orgasm to the next level.
Sydney Cox, Contributing Sex & Relationships Writer
Sydney Cox is a Chicago-based writer and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about exploring the complexities of human connections and teaching readers to advocate for themselves. Sydney’s work has been featured in various publications, where they aim to foster open and honest conversations.