Woman Says She Declined Her Friend’s Invitation to a Vegan Thanksgiving

A woman is dealing with an angry friend after she declined an invite to her turkey-less Thanksgiving.

In a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A------", the woman, 54, said her vegan friend, 55, of about 20 years decided for the first time to host Thanksgiving dinner for their friend group. The woman wrote that her friends take turns cooking the meal each year, always accommodating their vegan friend with “at the very least some tofurkey, one side dish and one dessert being strictly vegan.”

When her friend volunteered to cook this year, the woman wrote, it was “not a problem" — that is, until her friend said the meal would be “100% vegan."

The Redditor wrote that people offered to bring “omnivore offerings,” but her friend insisted that they all eat vegan at her house. Her friend double-downed by insisting that her vegan offerings would be just as tasty as the non-vegan food the rest of the group was used to eating.

“It does not,” the author wrote, citing her experiences eating bean burgers and other vegan meals at her friend’s house. The woman said she enjoys some vegan dishes, none of which her friend made.

The woman and her husband privately told the friend they wouldn’t attend her Thanksgiving because the woman wanted Thanksgiving staples made with “traditional ingredients.” Since then, her friend has “become angrier and angrier,” telling other friends in their group that the poster wasn’t attending because of her cooking.

The woman explained to her other friends that they all “very considerately” make vegan dishes for the vegan friend at get-togethers, and it was “really unreasonable” to insist that the woman eats according to her “dietary choices when I have never demanded the same from her.” 

Now, the woman’s other friends have decided to have Thanksgiving at one of their houses instead (which the post's author will not attend either). She said her vegan friend blames her. 

Many commenters came to the Redditor's defense, emphasizing that vegan Thanksgiving fare is not likely to taste like the traditional meal. Some said the vegan friend should return the favor of accommodation that her friends previously gave her.

“I get that being vegan is a choice most people make for ethical reasons, but the b------- line of 'it all tastes the same!' is so asinine,” one user commented. “Her beliefs and choices are not something everyone will adopt, and the more she forces it on people, the more those people will reject the idea.”

“I hope she enjoys her Thanksgiving alone, because until she returns the graciousness of providing food for everyone at the table to enjoy based on their dietary choices, that's how she'll be spending it,” they continued.

Some said the vegan friend was selfish by expecting everyone to eat according to her dietary restrictions.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Some commenters with dietary restrictions themselves sided with the original poster, while others supported the friend.

“I am pro [food] choice,” one pescatarian wrote. “The [vegan dishes] that almost always suck are the ones that are pretending to be something else. Playing food dress up on a holiday defined by the food served will go poorly.”

However, other users felt that the woman could have attended the Thanksgiving dinner to preserve her friend’s feelings. 

“I have been attending a vegan Thanksgiving for several years now. The food is fine but it isn't Thanksgiving food by a long shot. We go to avoid hurting their feelings but we have a real turkey day meal on a different day,” one wrote. “So that would have been one way to go about it.”

“Is Thanksgiving only about food to all these a------? Why not go along and enjoy yourself with your friends even if you don't like the food?,” another user said. “I bet the vegan friend hasn't enjoyed every single vegan dish that's been provided to them, but they still go along to be with their friends. I don't see why people can't try something different for one day to give their friend a chance to host their way.”