Who Is Kal Penn's Fiancé Josh? All About His Longtime Partner

Kal Penn gave fans a major surprise in 2021 when he revealed that not only had he been in a relationship for 11 years, but that he was engaged.

While promoting his 2021 memoir, You Can’t Be Serious, Penn filled PEOPLE in on his fiancé Josh.

Penn is an actor known for his roles in movies including Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and The Namesake and in TV shows such as House and Designated Survivor. While he’s spent plenty of time in the spotlight, his fiancé is very private.

The actor told PEOPLE that his and Josh’s relationship was always out in the open for people they met in public and within their own circle of friends and family. However, Penn didn’t want to share their relationship with the world until his book was released in order to protect Josh’s privacy.

"I've always been very public with everybody I've personally interacted with. Whether it's somebody I meet at a bar, if Josh and I are out or we're talking to friends," Penn told PEOPLE in October 2021.

He continued, "I'm really excited to share our relationship with readers. But Josh, my parents and my brother — four people who I'm closest to in the family — are fairly quiet. They don't love attention and shy away from the limelight."

So who is Kal Penn’s fiancé Josh? Here’s everything to know about him and his relationship with the actor.

Penn first opened up about Josh in his memoir

Penn revealed his relationship with Josh in his 2021 memoir, You Can’t Be Serious. He shared with PEOPLE that he had to balance maintaining his loved ones’ privacy while also being open about his own story.

"Figuring out the narrative [in the book], of how to respect who they really are, with telling my story — that includes: my work life, both in Hollywood and D.C., it includes my love life with Josh and how we met, it includes my parents, to the extent that I'm willing to share stories about their upbringing," he said. "So that was the most important thing for me. I wanted my story to be authentic from my perspective and told in a way that makes you feel like you really get to know me."

Similarly, Penn said in a 2021 interview with The New York Times about the memoir, “I was sure that I wanted to share two stories: one about my parents and their upbringing; and the story of how Josh and I met.”

Penn’s first impression of Josh gave him no hope for a relationship

Penn and Josh met when the actor was living in Washington, D.C., while working in the Office of Public Engagement during the Obama administration.

Penn recounted their first date in his book — and his first impression of Josh didn't seem promising. Josh showed up at Penn’s apartment with an 18-pack of Coors Light and put NASCAR on the TV.

"I thought, 'This obviously is not going to work out,' " Penn told PEOPLE. "I have one day off from the White House and this dude is unironically watching cars go around and make left turns? Next thing you know, it's been a couple months and we're watching NASCAR every Sunday. I'm like, 'What is happening?' ”

Penn told The New York Times that he thought at the time, “This guy’s leaving here in 40 minutes with 16 beers.” He added, “So the fact that we’re together 11 years later is funny because so many people have stories of dates that went awry but now they’re married and have kids.”

They’ve been seen together on rare occasions

Josh is private to the point that he hasn’t been frequently photographed in public with Penn, but they were spotted together at several basketball games.

In 2018, they were photographed at a New York Knicks and Detroit Pistons game at Madison Square Garden in New York City, and the following year, they were seen at another Knicks game in which the team played the Los Angeles Clippers.

Josh also tends to not be featured on Penn’s social media, but a photo from June 2021 appears to show the couple with politician Pete Buttigieg and his husband, Chasten Buttigieg.

Penn’s family supports their relationship

Penn told PEOPLE that his family supports his relationship with Josh. (Prior to revealing the relationship with Josh, Penn was not out publicly.)

"I shared things with my parents and close friends first," the Smile star told PEOPLE. "I know this sounds jokey, but it's true: When you've already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy.

He continued, "They're just like, 'Yeah, okay.' I felt very supported by everyone. That's a wonderful thing. I know everybody has different experiences with that and so I definitely feel very fortunate."

Penn also opened up about his personal journey. "I discovered my own sexuality relatively late in life compared to many other people," he explained. "There's no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s--- out at different times in their lives, so I'm glad I did when I did."

They disagree on what type of wedding they want

Penn also opened up to PEOPLE about wedding planning in 2021. He said at the time that he and Josh weren’t on the same page when it came to what size wedding they want.

“The pandemic made a lot of the wedding conversations go on pause,” he explained. “We're both very understated about all of the pomp and circumstance stuff. The big disagreement now is whether it's a huge wedding or a tiny wedding."

Penn continued, "I want the big-ass Indian wedding. Josh hates attention and [has said], 'Or we could just do quick 20-minute thing with our families and that's it.' So we have to meet halfway in the middle."

The actor did say that they’d probably be on the same page when it came to one aspect: giving their guests short notice. "Even if I win and get our gigantic Indian wedding, I guarantee you we'd still be the dummies that are like [to our invited guests], 'Hey, we're getting married in two weeks. You guys want to come?' " he said.

They may have a famous wedding officiant

Penn hasn’t given any more updates on his and Josh’s wedding in the past couple of years, but fans do know that they may have a famous officiant when they tie the knot.

In November 2021, Penn posted on X (formerly Twitter) that he dreamed Cardi B performed his and Josh’s wedding ceremony.

“Cardi B was on my flight to L.A.,” he wrote. “I fell asleep and had a dream that she officiated our wedding on the plane and the three of us walked out of LAX holding hands.”

Cardi then responded, “First, why didn't you say hi! Second, I'm licensed to do that sooo……..let me know." The “Bongos” rapper had recently officiated a wedding as part of her Facebook Watch series Cardi Tries.

Penn wrote back, "You're the best. Was gonna say hi but didn't want to be disrespectful (your do not disturb light was on). But holy s--- let's do it! We're down if you're down!"