Sam Neill Says He’s 'Not Remotely Afraid' of Death amid Cancer Journey: 'It’s Out of My Control'

Sam Neill is sharing why he isn’t too interested in his cancer journey.

The Jurassic Park star recently spoke to Australian Story and gave an update on his battle with angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma, a rare form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. The 76-year-old explained that there’s no reason for him to waste time researching his disease and he’ll leave everything to the experts.

"I know I've got it, but I'm not really interested in it," he told the outlet. "It's out of my control. If you can't control it, don't get into it."

After his diagnosis, Neill went through three months of chemotherapy before treatment stopped working and his tumor continued to grow. He then switched to a rare anti-cancer drug, which was successful.

Neill has now been in remission for 12 months. He requires infusions every two weeks, indefinitely. He admitted that the few days following treatment are "very grim and depressing," leaving him feeling like he’s “gone 10 rounds with a boxer.”

"But it's keeping me alive," he said.

Neill recalled learning of his diagnosis after promoting Jurassic World Dominion. At the time, he told his longtime friend and fellow actor Bryan Brown that he had lumps on his neck. Brown told him that he might’ve gotten COVID-19 while traveling so Neill decided to get a blood test done.

"A day or two later he rang me, and he said, 'I've got cancer.' And that was the start of it," Brown told the outlet. "He wasn't hysterical or anything like that. He dealt with it pretty well just straight on, 'this is what I've got to deal with now. Let's get on with it.’"

Neill said his diagnosis made him realize “how immensely grateful” he is for his life. 

"I started to think I better write some of this down because I'm not sure how long I have to live,” he added. “I was running against the clock."

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Neill decided to write vignettes from his life while receiving chemotherapy, which led to his memoir Did I Ever Tell You This?. He wrote the memoir in hopes of leaving his family “a sense of me.”

"I had some very lonely times last year," he admitted. "I thought it would be great for them to have some of my stories. I mightn't be here in a month or two. We'll leave something for them."

As of now, Neill said he’s “prepared” for cancer treatments to stop working one day, but he’s "not remotely afraid" of death. Instead, it’s retirement that "fills me with horror." 

He explained that dying would simply be “annoying” because he’s got so much more he wants to do. Neil told the outlet that "the cancer thing" has just made him more focused on making the most of his time, noting that he’s "so pleased to be awake" every morning.