Carrie Underwood Reflects on Her 3 Miscarriages: 'It Reminded Me I'm Not in Control of Everything'

Carrie Underwood has two healthy sons today, but her losses have taught her some valuable lessons.

In a cover story for Women’s Health‘s April issue, the country singer and author of Find Your Path opens up about having three miscarriages between the births of sons Isaiah Michael, 5, and Jacob Bryan, 13 months, and how they altered some of her perceptions about how her life would unfold.

“For my body to not be doing something it was ‘supposed to do’ was a tough pill to swallow,” Underwood, 36, told the magazine. “It reminded me I’m not in control of everything.”

But after enduring the difficult emotions and sharing her story, the mother of two felt a “weight lifted off my shoulders,” explaining of miscarriage, “It’s not a dirty secret. It’s something many women go through.”

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Underwood previously revealed to PEOPLE that her three miscarriages (which she experienced in a span of less than two years) made her think, “Of course you wonder if it’s you, what am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong. I remember having conversations with [husband Mike Fisher] trying to make sense of it all.”

A devout Christian, Underwood added that it was a heart-to-heart talk with God that came next. “I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed,” she said. “I get to do what I love, I have an incredible family. I have Mike, I have Isaiah, I have great parents. I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever.”

The mom of two continued, “But the miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why.’ ”

It wasn’t long after that the star said they received good news. “We heard that everything was okay and I was pregnant with Jacob,” Underwood said. “He’s just this perfect little bundle of a smiley guy.”

Between a high-profile music career, a new book, parenting two young children and everything in between, the CALIA by Carrie Underwood designer still makes time for herself — and that includes her health and fitness.

After years of experimenting with counting calories and macros, Underwood told Women’s Health she has figured out the ratio that works best for her: 45 percent carbs, 30 percent fat and 25 percent protein.

“I love rules,” she told the magazine, referring to tracking her nutrition. “This is how I feel good about myself, and this is how I operate.”

As for prioritizing workouts, Underwood said it’s how she practices self-care: “I’d love to sit in a bubble bath, but that’s not going to happen. My self-care is my gym time, and that’s a stress reliever for me.”

Find Your Path: Honor Your Body, Fuel Your Soul, and Get Strong with the Fit52 Life is available now on amazon.com.