Andrew Garfield Recalls Missing His Late Mom on Oscar Night: 'You Want to Bring Her in Your Pocket'

Andrew Garfield wants to set a positive example for talking about loss and grief.

The Oscar-nominated actor, 38, who first opened up about his mother's 2019 death while on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last November, tells PEOPLE in the latest issue that grieving our loved ones is an "important subject" to share with others.

"We don't really talk about [it] in public, that there's a stigma on," he says. "We keep death at a distance and I think it's actually one of the big problems with our culture. That's my passionate belief, that actually once we start integrating and talking about and remembering and realizing that we're only here for a brief moment, then life becomes meaningful. Then life can really get very vivid and very miraculous."

Garfield, who is currently starring in his first American TV series Under the Banner of Heaven (streaming on Hulu), says he happily thinks about his mother, who died of pancreatic cancer, "all the time."

"I have to remind myself that she's not here because it can jolt you sometimes," he says. "So that feels important. And then for big moments, like with the Oscars recently [where he was nominated for his performance in tick, tick... BOOM!], my dad came out and you kind of want to call her in and you want to bring her in your pocket and you do. And we kind of all held her in our hearts and just kind of walked with her for that whole thing."

He also continues to feel and embrace a connection to his mom "every day" and occasionally looks to her for guidance.

"Sometimes I'll want more guidance, more connection, more reassurance, something. And I'll just ask for it and it usually comes in some kind of symbolic fashion," says Garfield. "And if it doesn't, there's something reassuring about that as well, because it's like, oh no, she's at peace enough to know that I'm fine. Maybe this is just my kind of optimistic kind of making everything meaningful mindset, but when I don't get a sign or a symbol, I go, 'Oh, no she knows I'm good. She knows that I don't actually need it. I'm just being a little needy right now.' So she's out doing something else. She's taking care of someone who actually is in need in spirit. That's where my mind goes. I mean, listen, we're all just making it up as we go along. But that's where my mind goes and it's quite lovely."

For much more on Andrew Garfield, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday

Garfield, who is protective of his private life and his family, says he put a lot of thought into speaking about his mom last year and now, but hopes that his experience and mindset might help someone else dealing with loss.

Deciding what to share of yourself publicly and what to keep private is a really important question, he says.

"Especially for younger artists figuring out what actually feels right for them and having the space and time to decide what is right for themselves. To make mistakes and to pull back and to totally completely renegotiate those boundaries all the time, feels like a really important piece of permission to give to ourselves — for all of us, whether we're in the public eye or not, whether we're just on social media or not.

He continues: "So for me the beauty is, a moment like on Stephen Colbert's show where I get to talk about my mom, talk about my brother and my dad, in a way that felt like I didn't have to give everything away... A moment like that feels like a profound privilege that I got to be on a late-night show and talk to someone who's so brilliant and smart and emotionally intelligent and talk about something that is important and vital. And then for me, it's all about, as soon as I start serving myself, I know I'm in trouble. So that's my boundary. As soon as it becomes too much about me, I have to kind of dance away from the edge of that and redirect attention back towards the thing that's actually worth speaking about and actually enhancing the conversation."

The first two episodes of Garfield's Under of the Banner of Heaven are now streaming via FX on Hulu.