Gina Kirschenheiter Reveals Why She Stopped Drinking Alcohol: 'It Was in Control of Me' (Exclusive)

Gina Kirschenheiter is living life alcohol-free, she tells PEOPLE exclusively, after making the decision to stop drinking over a year and a half ago.

"I can't begin to describe how much it's changed me," says the Real Housewives of Orange County star, who returns to TV this June for her fifth season on the hit Bravo reality show. "Drinking was a big part of my life and to eliminate it was a huge shift for me personally. But it's had this trickle-down, ripple effect where I've just seen so many things shift for the better. And I couldn't be happier."

Fans will gets to see Gina's journey on the upcoming season of RHOC, though she's kept quiet about it beyond that.

"I haven't talked about it with anyone really," she notes. "People keep saying to me on Instagram, 'You've lost weight, are you on Ozempic?' And I want to be like, 'No, I just stopped drinking!' So I'm excited to finally get my story out now."

Gina was inspired to make the change after noticing she was starting to become dependent on alcohol in a way she hadn't been before.

"I was drinking way too much," she recalls to PEOPLE. "What used to be a drink when I was out at night with friends became, especially during COVID, me pouring a drink every night without even thinking about it. And I don't identify as an alcoholic, I don't believe I have that disease. But I felt the scales starting to tip, and I didn't like that feeling. I was numbing myself with it. I was self-medicating, and I couldn't stop. It was more in control of me than I was of it."

That revelation struck fear in Gina. "I would say to myself, 'I think I'm drinking too much. Next week, I'm not going to drink at all.' But then next week would come and it'd be hard and I'd say, 'F--- it, I'm going to have a drink, I can't do this.' And that scared me," she remembers. "I wasn't even able to have a short spurt of success not drinking. And that really raised a red flag to me like, 'Oh, this is serious.' "

"It's really hard to look at yourself like that; to examine your behavior to see what isn't working," Gina continues. "But I knew, after I did, that I had a problem. I was using alcohol as a crutch to not deal with my problems. I could see that it wasn't the healthiest thing for me. I didn't like the way I felt after a night of drinking. I didn't like the way I looked. I wasn't living my best life. And it was getting in my way; it was preventing me from being the best parent I could be, the best partner — all of that. I needed to change."

Cold turkey turned out to be the best choice for Gina. "I didn't know if I could do it or not, so I needed to eliminate it completely from my life as to really set myself up for success," she tells PEOPLE. "I got all the alcohol out of the house, avoided going out for social settings at night... anything I could do to make sure I wasn't tempting myself."

Instead, Gina focused more on daytime activities and "really leaned into time with the kids" (she shares Nicholas, 10, Sienna, 8, and Luca, 6, with ex-husband Matt Kirschenheiter, while her boyfriend Travis Mullen — whom she's been dating since 2019 — has three kids of his own from a previous relationship).

"I distracted myself with healthy distractions," she says. "And it was good because it helped me take my mind off of it while also reminding me of the real priorities I had in life."

Filming season 17 of RHOC also proved to be helpful in the long run, Gina shares — though she admits it did present different challenges along the way. "Stuff would come up that was extremely triggering for me, and had it been any other season where I was drinking, I would've just thrown back another cocktail and kept my mouth shut. But I couldn't do that," she explains.

"Viewers will see, I'm having a very natural, real reaction to what's happening in a way I don't think I have in the past," Gina teases. "And it's not always easy, but it actually turned out to be a really good thing for me, and very good motivation for me to stay away from the bottle. Sure, it sucks to feel feelings and deal with things that you actually told yourself you dealt with already. But without the alcohol numbing my emotions, I actually allowed myself to address them and move on from them. Eliminating the alcohol helped me stay on the journey of healing from trauma I've been through. It became very powerful for me."

Since she stopped drinking, Gina says she's noticed "immeasurable" differences in her life. "I do everything better now," she tells PEOPLE. "I'm so much more organized. I'm so much more focused. I'm so much more of a present parent. I'm so much more of a better partner. I'm present, I'm happy, I'm not putting myself down. And most importantly, I feel so much more in control of myself and of my mental health."

"Looking back, I really see how much it was hindering me," she adds. "And without it, I feel like I've been able to shine. I'm at a point in my life where I really feel ready to love myself, celebrate myself and advocate for myself. I've put myself first in a way that's changed me and made me so much stronger for everyone else. It been really impactful."

Friends have clocked the differences in Gina, she says, and have been "overwhelmingly" supportive of her decision.

"I really couldn't have done this without their backing," she shares. "It's strange, when you stop drinking, you really see all these things you didn't notice prior, like how alcohol is very normalized in mommy culture. And it's scary because you don't want to be judged, you don't want people to think you're saying you're better than them or anything. But my friends have really been by my side. Some have even emulated what I've done, and told me that it's made it okay for them to admit to themselves that they're struggling in that area. It's been really nice to see."

Mullen, too, has shown Gina the love in her new lifestyle. "He's just my rock," she says. "He's just been the absolute best. I'm a very lucky person to have met him. And I know he's proud of me."

But no one is more proud of Gina than Gina. "I am proud of myself," she says to PEOPLE, choking up. "It's sounds so silly to hear myself say that, but I really am glad that I took the time to address this issue. It didn't happen overnight; I'm not here saying, 'I haven't drank in two months, and my life changed!' It's been a year and a half. And it was hard to stay the course at first but I started noticing positive shifts that really made me see that this was the right decision for me. So I'm proud I did that."

As for her future with drinking, Gina says she isn't sure she'll ever get to a place where she feels she can drink again. "I'd like to think that one day I'll be able to go wine tasting in Napa with Travis and it won't be a problem, but the truth is, I just don't know," she says, noting she tried drinking during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen last year and I felt "like sh---" the next day.

"My friends who can drink socially, power to them — I can't do that right now," she says. "Maybe I'll get there one day. Right now, I'm still staying away from it. And in the meantime, I've found that if I want to partake in the social sphere, I'll take a gummy or a sip a drink with low levels of THC, which I've found I can enjoy occasionally without it getting out of hand. They call it 'California Sober' around here, but I don't try to place labels on it. I'm more trying to navigate what's right for me at this time. And staying away from alcohol has been it."

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All in all, Gina encourages others to do the same when it comes to their own journies with alcohol.

"You have to do what works for you," Gina says. "But if alcohol is something that isn't working for you, I promise you that when you make the decision, even it's hard at first, you'll start to see the positive shift and positive changes and it'll motivate you to keep going. I can attest to it."

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.