Broadway Star Aaron Lazar Opens Up About Finding Hope After ALS Diagnosis: 'I've Learned to Dream Again'

Aaron Lazar made a radical decision when he learned he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) in January 2022: he wasn't going to fight.

"Don't get me wrong; I'm passionately fighting for my life, I'm just not fighting the disease," the stage veteran tells PEOPLE exclusively, during a candid conversation about his health in this week's issue. "I've learned to surrender to ALS in a way that lets me appreciate the moments between life's peaks and valleys. Because I don't want to miss them."

That perspective of unwavering optimism comes in the face of a brutal illness with no known cure. Also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, ALS attacks nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, leading to a loss of muscle control that often leaves patients prisoners in their own bodies, unable to move, speak, swallow and, eventually, even breathe.

The thought of what's ahead might strike fear in the hearts of some. But Lazar made a decision "not to live life afraid" and instead focued on healing himself emotionally, spiritually and yes, physically.

"Life's very nuanced, It's not black and white," he says. "I used to think it was. I had a real cinematic idea of what life was, and I was going to be a hero. My whole life, I succeed at whatever I worked my ass off at doing. I had that really energy of Rocky, you know? 'Never give up, never quit.' But now I realize that to survive this, I can't try and beat it like it's an opponent; I have to heal."

"This is a disease of the nervous system," Lazar adds. "If I'm running dis-ease through those wires that connect the brain to the body, then how can I really restore ease to my body?"

He didn't just come up with it overnight.

Instead, Lazar dove inwards and began a “very conscious, very disciplined" exploration of holistic health over the last two years, reading over 60 books before settling on a "disciplined" treatment routine that includes a gluten-light diet to reduce inflammation, smoothies that detox the body's heavy metals, modified workouts to maintain mobility, a regular meditation routine to center himself and a spiritual practice based in gratitude.

His "teachers" along the process ranged from medical doctors and renowned scientists, to yogis and spiritual teachers.

"ALS is different for everyone, so I’ve created a practice that helps me be resilient and courageous in the face of significant challenges,” Lazar says, stressing that those experiencing the illness consult with their own doctors before building their own treatment plans.

Medication was a part of Lazar's plan at first. Two are on the market, neither of which are cures. Instead, they slow the rate of decline in some patients, extending the time until a breathing tube is needed.

Lazar took both, starting with Riluzole — though he eventually had to go off that when his liver started reacting negatively to it. About a year and a half after his diagnosis, he went on Relyvrio, a drug newly approved by the FDA also said to slow progression. But earlier this year, news broke that phase three trials of that medication failed, so his doctor — Dr. Richard A. Lewis at Cedars-Sinai — told him, " 'You can stay on it if you want, but you can also just stop taking it,' " Lazar says.

What Lazar didn't stop doing was staying positive and purging his life from thoughts and feelings that don't service his healing.

"The disease itself is like a tractor beam to death. It just feels like a negative, collective consciousness around it is bleak and hopeless," Lazar tells PEOPLE. "So I had to rise above that. And it started with understanding how I have to think about it, and then how I feel about it and then what I believe about it. Basically, courage became hope, and hope became faith, and faith became belief, and belief became practice, and practice became experience and experience became knowing, That's how I got there."

Perhaps the best thing Lazar has learned through ALS is to slow down, live life in the moment and not take any of his life for granted.

"None of us know how much life we got left. We don't know how many of those moments we have left — and I don't want to miss those moments," says Lazar. "I'm an actor. I'm supposed to be really good at being in the moment, but ALS taught me how to really do that."

"This disease has been a real opportunity to change things about myself," he says. "And while the physical progression of ALS is terrible, I'm healthier and happier than I've ever been. I've embraced self-love in a way I never have before. I can honestly say, I'm a better partner, father, actor, friend and overall person than I've ever been."

He calls healing from ALS his "impossible dream," a nod to the song of the same name from Man of La Mancha. "In the nightmare of ALS, I've learned to dream again," he says.

For more on Aaron Lazar, pick up the latest edition of PEOPLE, on newsstands now.