When Sophie and Matt Holdsworth decided to undertake renovation work on their home, they were initially excited.
They’d saved hard and searched for the best deals to keep their costs down, even selecting their kitchen for their Essex home based on an offer that would allow them three years’ worth of interest-free credit.
They’d bought the property in 2022 knowing that they wanted to modernise it, and, having worked on the plans with an architect for the best part of two years, finally started work in February 2024.
But when the costs started to build beyond what they’d planned for, the stress weighed on their relationship – and, as they were also expecting their first child, they found themselves struggling.
‘Despite our efforts to keep costs down, the build costs ended up being 50% more than had originally been quoted,’ Sophie tells Metro.co.uk.
‘With our baby on the way, costs up and builders in our home longer than expected, tensions were high. The stress and cost of renovating took a toll on our relationship.’
For Sophie and Matt, who are 34 and 33, the biggest stressors were around managing the ever-increasing budget and, as Sophie adds, ’prioritising where to spend big or save, which often took some negotiation as we have different ideas about what’s important.’
When they found out they were expecting a baby, they adapted their renovation plans, adding a porch to make it easier to get a pram into the house alongside a boot and utility room.
’The renovation has made our home more baby-friendly, such as the open plan living [space], which now means we can spend more time together as a family,’ Sophie highlights, noting that while it was stressful, it was ’worth the rush.’
’We also knew it would be more difficult to manage a messy build once the baby was here,’ she adds.
However, the works were originally due to be completed by early May but were pushed back until July – right up until Sophie’s due date.
’The baby arrived five days after the builders left,’ Sophie recalls.
’It made the last few weeks of the pregnancy much more stressful than we would have liked because we were adamant it needed to be finished before the baby arrived.
’Instead of nesting, we were managing tradespeople coming in and out.’
Sophie and Matt aren’t alone. According to new research from Novuna Personal Finance, home renovation work is taking its toll on couples, as almost a fifth (19%) of homeowners said that a home improvement project has made them seriously consider splitting up – or has even resulted in a separation altogether.
As per the study, the most common reasons for domestic disagreements are a lack of storage space (32%), outdated kitchens (27%), and cramped bedrooms (19%), while only two-fifths (39%) of homeowners reported feeling relaxed in their home because of the issues they had with it.
What’s more, 1 in 15 (7%) admitted that renovation-related disagreements were the final straw that ended their relationship.
This is an experience that worsened among Gen Zs and Millennials, as 38% of 25-35-year-olds said that they almost parted ways with their partner during a home makeover, while 18% noted that they were unable to reconcile their differences in this area.
There’s a location element to this stress too, as unsurprisingly, renovations in London are responsible for the greatest deal of heartache, as 39% said that they either almost split up or actually did split up with their partner because of it. By comparison, only 14% of those in the North West said the same.
So, what specific issues are couples coming into difficulty with when renovating? According to Novuna, money is the biggest factor (28%), followed by clashing priorities (19%), while a further 16% admitted that they underestimated how long it would take to complete the work.
However, there’s light at the end of the tunnel as 81% of those who completed renovations (and got through the other side in one piece) believed it was worth it. In fact, 14% stated that they actually had fewer arguments with their spouse post-renovation.
Fast forward to the present, and Sophie and Matt have managed to make it through the emotional turmoil of revamping their new home – and becoming new parents at the same time.
’We had to keep at the back of our mind that short-term pain and stress would be worth it for our dream family home, which we couldn’t have afforded without buying a project house,’ Sophie reflects, noting that the process was tough, but it was ’absolutely worth it.’
‘We are very happy in our new home and the space definitely feels more harmonious and relaxing as a result of all the hard work.’
Advising other couples going through a similar process who might be struggling, she suggests ironing out the details of costs and timings beforehand and, where possible, making sure to select builders you get along with.
‘It may be chaos for a while,’ Sophie concludes. ‘But it’s so worth it in the end.’
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