It’s time to admit school sports days are sexist

I was 32 when I attended my first Sports Day. It’s not something that happens in Spain where I grew up.

So, when my son, then 5, came home from school and told me all about it, I was as excited as he was. 

But when the day arrived, my excitement turned to confusion. 

I realised this wasn’t the event I thought it was.

Instead of all the children playing together and competing with each other, they were being divided into groups of boys and girls. I couldn’t understand why children as young as five were being categorised by their gender.

When I asked others if they found this odd, they seemed indifferent; ‘This is how it’s always been.’

Why, after all the progress made over the last decade, do we continue to reinforce the idea that when it comes to sports, girls and boys are different?

Don’t get me wrong, I think Sports Day has great value. I love seeing the kid’s enthusiasm; their giggles as they walk leg to leg with their classmates, or the look of concentration on their faces as they balance the egg on the spoon. 

I love the sense of camaraderie and community these events create for kids and their families.

But as a feminist, I find the way schools categorise children by their gender not only sexist but unnecessary. 

My son and his sister still take part in Sports Day, but now we also use the events as a conversation starter. We celebrate other children; marvel at the girl who climbs the monkey bars like a soldier and talk about the hobbies of those kids who just aren’t that into sports. 

According to The Women’s Sports Foundation, ‘there is no gender-based physiological reason to separate females and males in sports competition’ before puberty. They’re physically equal. 

The only difference is one that we as a society have created. In categorising children like this, we’re creating a bias. 

Most of the time, we’re not even aware of the nonverbal messages we’re sending.

If we look at primary-aged children, boys are often gifted footballs, racquets, and team kits, all things that encourage movement, and let them know that sport is something they should be interested in. 

Whereas girls are given things that centre on caring for others and the way they look, non-competitive toys like dolls, make-up and kitchens. 

Or, let’s look at school uniforms. If the school has them, it’s usually trousers for boys and skirts for girls. This not only makes an obvious visual distinction that they are different, but it also physically limits the activities girls can partake in. 

These small, seemingly unassuming gestures send strong messages to our kids and by the time boys arrive at school, they’re monopolising larger spaces on the playground to play ‘their games’ while girls are socialised to play quietly, to talk. Sending a powerful statement about whose interests matter most. 

All of these things contribute to limiting beliefs based on gender. 

Women in Sport found that girls as young as five don’t feel like they belong in sport wih 57% of parents saying their daughters had felt shut out of physical activity.

Astoundingly, 26% said this was because their daughter was told it ‘wasn’t for girls.’ Even the Euro-winning Lionesses were discouraged from playing football as kids. 

We have to stop letting children believe that their aptitude for sports is different because of their gender. In doing so we are letting a lot of women’s sporting talent fall through the cracks.

We’re not encouraging girls to see themselves as equal to boys and, more disturbingly, we’re not teaching boys to see girls as equal to them. 

We’re also neglecting the boys who don’t like sport and seriously failing non-binary kids, or those with non-binary parents. On the playground and in the classroom, it’s vital that every child feels included. 

We have to help children challenge the narrative they are given and encourage them to question long-held beliefs and traditions. Even if that means questioning the adults around them. 

I often share my thoughts on things like Sports Day with my children and ask what they think. I do this because I want them to be critical thinkers, even (or hopefully!) if that means that I am the one whose outdated views get challenged by them. 

So, how should we approach Sports Day this year? 

Well, what about age? Divide kids by the month they were born. It’s objective and fair. Surely a kid born in June competing with someone born 11 months before (20% of their life span) feels more unfair, regardless of genitalia. 

Or what about asking who prefers pizza over chips? Or the colour yellow instead of purple? Literally any way except by protected categories. 

I understand that some people will think this is unnecessary. It’s how we’ve always done it, after all.  But, if we’re serious about tackling gender inequality in sports, education and life then we need to be brave. 

We need to look at the data, to look at the impact and to choose to do better now that we know better. Change can feel scary, but it’s necessary to change these seemingly small things to tackle the bigger inequalities and level the playing field. 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

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