I watched my mum die. I’ve just been diagnosed with the same condition

‘Please help me end this,’ my mother, Gina, begged me and my siblings.

Squeezing her hand, I felt so hopeless as I watched her fighting for breath.

At 84, my poor mum was bed-bound and broken after struggling for four years with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, commonly referred to as COPD.

It was November 2020, and we knew she didn’t have long.

COPD is a collective term for a group of lung conditions, including chronic bronchitis and emphysema, that make it hard to exhale air from the lungs. Symptoms include constant coughing, wheezing, excess mucus and fatigue.

According to the charity Asthma + Lung UK, 9 out of 10 people with the condition have a history of smoking. Mum had smoked all her life, and couldn’t stop – even then, when her lungs were failing her.

She’d always been so full of zest, working until she was 78 as she loved to keep busy. But over the last few years, her illness had completely robbed her of her sparkle and love of life.

I tried to visit when I could but by the beginning of 2021, I’d suddenly become tired and breathless. My GP arranged some cardio tests, and a couple of days after visiting Mum in February, I had a phone call from the practice nurse.

‘It looks like you have COPD,’ she said flatly. ‘It’s probably because you smoked.’

I remember shock eclipsing any anger at the blunt way the news was delivered. I was only 63, how could I have COPD?

But I could hardly focus on my own health when Mum’s was so much worse. As her gasps for breath became weaker, she started smoking more than ever. It was her way of bringing her death closer and in the end, she passed away in March 2021.

Saying goodbye was hard. Despite the last difficult few years, she’d had a full and happy life right up until she hit 80. But now I was left wondering if I would be that lucky?

I was haunted by the fact that smoking had made me so ill.

I’d had my first cigarette with my sister at the bottom of the garden at just eight, and although I’d hated the taste at first, by the time I was a teenager, I was hooked.

Growing up in a working-class family in Corby, it seemed like everyone smoked. Of course, I was aware that cigarettes could cause lung cancer, but it seemed like such a slim chance. As for COPD? I don’t think I’d even heard of it until Mum became ill.

Over the years, I’d tried to give up smoking countless times, once for three years, but I’d always lapsed, usually on a night out with booze involved.

I finally quit in 2018 with the help of medication.

Over the six months after my diagnosis, breathlessness and fatigue floored me. It broke my heart, but I had to give up the job I loved as a nursery nurse. My husband Martin and I had planned to travel the world in our retirement, but my poor health made that impossible.

Still, I wasn’t going down without a fight. So, I decided to learn everything I could about COPD, and contacted the charity Asthma + Lung UK for information and support.

In the last two years, I have become something of a lung health warrior, fighting hard to get myself onto a course of pulmonary rehab. This is a six week personalised breathing and exercise course which gives you the tools to manage COPD. 

For me, it has been completely life-changing: I am more educated about my condition now, and I’ve found the right support as well as the confidence to start exercising again.

I’ve also joined a ‘singing for lung health’ class, which is incredibly uplifting and a Breathe Easy support group for people with lung conditions, which are both run by Asthma + Lung UK.

Around 1.4million people in England have a COPD diagnosis but there’s little awareness of the tell-tale symptoms of constant breathlessness, coughing, wheezing, and excess mucus. It’s as if there’s a conspiracy of silence around the condition – probably because of the stigma around smoking.

That’s why I support the government’s plans to crack down on cigarettes. Tobacco is an awful addiction, and if we can stop young people from smoking, then we can help to protect them from this dreadful disease.

Although I try to embrace every day, this illness has changed me. I used to be a go-getting dynamo; now I’m often so tired that I need a nap most afternoons.

Winter is particularly hard as the cold air exacerbates my breathing, which makes me miserable and exhausted as I constantly feel like I have a heavy suitcase strapped to my chest. But I’m lucky compared to others.

I’m in relatively good shape and having a chronic condition has really focused my mind. I want to visit India and go on a trip to Los Angeles, and I’m determined to make those things happen sooner rather than later.

COPD is progressive and incurable, but your quality of life really depends on how extensive the lung damage is. Inhalers and other medication can help to manage the symptoms.

According to Asthma + Lung UK, there are half a million people with COPD who haven’t got a diagnosis and that’s a real cause for concern, especially as having an undiagnosed lung condition potentially increases someone’s risk of ending up in hospital with flu or Covid.

A recent report from the charity shows that missing out on a diagnosis makes people more vulnerable to complications with respiratory infections as they aren’t receiving vital medication and support.

Lung disease is the country’s third biggest killer, but it’s not taken seriously enough. We need more awareness, faster diagnosis and better services. 

Otherwise, ordinary people like you and me run the risk of having our lives put on hold – and counting every breath as if it was our last.

Katy is urging people to contact to their MPs to ask them to support the government’s smokefree vote in the New Year Tell your MP to make smoking history.

For more information on COPD, visit www.asthmaandlung.org.uk or call the charity helpline on 0300 222 5800. You can write to your MP here to urge them to make smoking history.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

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