My boyfriend and I are bodybuilders – our extreme lifestyles brought us together

With a calorie controlled diet of chicken and green beans, hours in the gym, and evenings spent in the bath soaking my muscles, my lifestyle isn’t for the fainthearted.

And it’s certainly not romantic.

As a professional bodybuilder and fitness coach, my training schedule might seem punishing to some and it certainly doesn’t leave much time for love.

But that’s exactly what I’ve found with my partner, Matt, whose bulging biceps are even bigger than my own. They say like attracts like, and in our case we bonded over our shared interest in protein shakes and chest presses.

I haven’t always been interested in fitness; in fact during my teens and early 20s I was a dedicated clubber. Weekends were spent dressed in neon hot pants and fluffy boots, getting off my face on booze and dancing with my mates at all-night raves.

My body was definitely not my temple.

All that changed in 2013, when I accompanied a friend to a bodybuilding competition. What I saw on stage completely blew me away… it was just so cool. It looked like the ultimate challenge to get that shape.

Meeting some of the competitors I was obviously star struck and I remember one guy saying ‘that’ll be you next year’. I laughed and replied ‘yeah right’. But the seed had been planted.

Back home in Bognor Regis, I found a bodybuilding coach and started training. I’d previously dabbled with a gym membership and done a couple of triathalons, but this was completely different.

I soon found out that posing in a tiny bikini and flexing your muscles is not as easy as it looks.

Bodybuilding is a long game. It can take months – even years – to build the required muscle mass.

I remember my first bodybuilding competition as if it was yesterday.

It was 2014, I’d been training for about a year, and I was so excited to get out on stage, but really nervous at the same time. I didn’t win anything, and it would have been easy to give up, but if anything it just motivated me to work harder.

For the next couple of years it was the same story – I didn’t win anything because I was just too skinny. The other models around me were clearly more muscular and well-defined.

Sometimes after a show I would feel really low, but I knew if I worked hard enough I’d get there eventually.

Bodybuilders go through phases of eating an increased number of calories and training to build muscle, then moving to a restricted diet to strip away all body fat, leaving the muscle definition on show in preparation for competition.

You need a thick skin too. You’re on stage in next-to-nothing with a panel of judges assessing and critiquing your physique. At first I felt exposed, but as I gained experience I found their feedback constructive. It all helped towards my training. 

By 2019 my hard work was paying off, and incredibly I was crowned Miss Universe at a championship in Mexico. Afterwards, people in the gym were saying ‘oh my God I can’t believe I’m talking to Miss Universe’ and I would laugh and say ‘no – I’m just Sarah’. It sometimes felt as if they weren’t really talking about me.

The lifestyle requires a huge amount of focus and people outside bodybuilding can find it hard to understand. In 2021 my marriage broke down and, newly-single, I committed all my time to training.

In the run-up to Christmas 2021 I was at a party organised by a trainer – a rare opportunity to let off steam. 

It was there that I met fellow bodybuilder Matt. I didn’t fancy him at first, but as we chatted something just clicked. It felt like we’d known each other for years.

We bantered about working on our muscle mass and traded catch-phrases that only bodybuilders would recognise.

Despite living a four-hour drive from each other, Matt and I kept in touch and were soon messaging every day.

We opened up about how we’d both found bodybuilding to boost our confidence because we’d grown up feeling like we didn’t fit in. We were both bullied at school and training has given us a sense of purpose. 

Within a couple of months the messages had become phone calls, but it was still purely platonic. He felt like a brother or a best friend – he just ‘got’ me. I didn’t have to explain why I was going to bed early or spending hours in the gym, because he was too.

In April 2022, Matt and I decided to go on holiday to Greece and Norway together – again just as friends. It was a chance to relax before competition season started.

On holiday, I finally realised I was developing feelings for him. I tried to push them aside, telling myself we were just mates – but our first kiss happened towards the end of the trip, after a trek up a mountain. 

I knew immediately I’d remember it forever.

When we landed back home, Matt said to me that he didn’t want to spend a day without me, so he packed a bag and that was that. 

It sounds crazy, but we just knew it was right. Within weeks we’d moved to Chichester and set up a home together. 

Luckily, we were both working as online fitness coaches so the relocation didn’t affect our jobs.

We’ve settled into a routine around our bodybuilding commitments – we understand each other and can support each other. Now I know how easy it is being with Matt, I think I’d find it hard to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t a bodybuilder.

I’m the only one who competes – Matt is currently still working on building his physique and training his clients.

On an average day we get up and go for an hour-long fasting walk together before breakfast, which for Matt is chicken, salad, bagels, toast and eggs, and for me is chicken salad.

We walk to the gym together and train for a couple of hours, before a lunch of 260g of cereal, protein shake and a bagel for Matt – and chicken salad for me.

Then we settle into our coaching work, before a third protein-based meal, which might be chicken, vegetables, bagels and jam for Matt and chicken and green beans for me. Bodybuilders eat often for optimal recovery from training.

Before bed we eat again – I have five strawberries and protein powder with a teaspoon of peanut butter, and Matt has 15g of almond butter and whey protein.

Our calorie intake is very different – Matt eats about 4,000 calories a day because he’s working on building muscle mass, whereas I’m in the middle of show season so I’m restricted to 1,000 cals to get as lean as possible. I also drink up to 6l of water in the days running up to a competition.

I treat myself after competing, when I’m back into the building phase. Matt takes me for a post-show burger and chips, and he’s already ordered a bespoke cookie pie with white chocolate for me to celebrate my last show.

Most evenings it’s a cuddle in front of the telly and a hot bath, but when I’m not prepping for a show, we have the occasional date night with a nice meal and the cinema.

It’s been a whirlwind – this time last year we’d never even met. 

In our case, the couple who train together stay together.

Follow Sarah and Matt on Instagram: @sarahparker_bb and @coachedbymatt.300

As told to Jade Beecroft

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