On Saturday afternoon, as Cristiano Ronaldo was reintroduced to the Old Trafford faithful, a banner flew across the Manchester skies which read #BelieveKathrynMayorga.
Watching the return of the United star was Ryan Giggs, one of the treble winning heroes of the Fergie era. He took his seat in the Directors Box, to watch his old teammate score a brace on his return debut. Giggs faces an abuse trial in January. Both deny any wrongdoing.
I was at Old Trafford in 2003 to see Ronaldo play alongside Giggs, in his first season in Manchester. In November that year a brilliant Utd beat Portsmouth, 3-0. Ronaldo came on late in the game and scored, fast becoming a hero to the Streftford End. Giggs had already cemented his status as a Utd legend.
The two were back together this weekend – one being celebrated on the pitch, one being worshipped in the stands. The theatre of dreams for some. The stuff of nightmares for others. Both men have found themselves featured on the back pages as well as the front pages, their footballing achievements running parallel to serious accusations of abuse.
Neither Ronaldo nor Giggs have been found guilty of any crime. Ronaldo faces no further criminal charges (although a civil suit remains pending), and Giggs faces a trial in January, accused of assaulting his former partner and controlling her (coercive control became a crime in 2015), as well as charges of attacking another woman, believed to be his ex-partner’s sister.
However, despite there being no convictions of either men, to parade them around as heroes feels uncomfortable and unnecessary.
Many sexual assault or domestic abuse cases never reach court. On other occasions, women withdraw their support for the prosecution because they simply cannot continue down a road which is filled with so much trauma, so much triggering and so much pain.
Refuge works with such women every single day. Their voices often silenced by a justice system which fails women at almost every turn. Much is also made of the presumption of innocence – the absolute cornerstone of our justice system and rightly so. But this standard doesn’t mean that someone is innocent until the magic moment at which they are not – it is designed to place the burden of responsibility on a prosecuting state, and to protect the accused from state power. It requires a state to persuade a court that a person is guilty ‘beyond a reasonable doubt’ in order to secure a conviction.
So, why does this matter so much? It matters because domestic abuse is the biggest issue facing women today.
For many women, this weekend will have been a triggering experience
Violence against women and girls, which is built on the foundations of patriarchy and male entitlement, sees two women a week in England and Wales killed by a current or former partner, and one in four women experiencing domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime. Prosecution rates for domestic abuse and rape are at an all-time low.
Powerful men so often use their status and their wealth to silence women. Domestic abuse is a crime, and should be treated as such, with a zero tolerance approach. But it is not.
Women who experience abuse face many barriers to reporting the crimes against them; trust in law enforcement is low (which is unsurprising when police officers accused of domestic abuse are a third less likely to be charged than non-police); women are often told ‘no one will believe you’, when they report crimes, they often feel like they are the ones on trial – their phones taken for months on end, their choice of clothes analysed, their sexual history picked apart.
When the accused is famous, women see their lives dissected by a public that can’t bear to see their heroes’ reputations tarnished.
At Refuge, we work with women everyday who tell us how their abusive partners made them feel: they tell us they felt no one would believe them, they tell us they felt powerless, they tell us they didn’t have the funds to leave. Abusive men use isolation and fear as a tactic of control and abuse. They try to cut victims off from their support networks, meaning survivors have fewer avenues to flee.
This is why this matters. Domestic abuse is a crime, yet it is not taken seriously. Women are afraid to report crimes committed against them – because they fear they won’t be believed. They are afraid of the repercussions they will face; they fear the scrutiny their lives will be placed under.
It’s only thanks to the Domestic Abuse Act that the cross examination of survivors by their perpetrators, for example, has been banned. The domestic abuse act has also made ‘non fatal’ strangulation against the law, and outlawed the ‘rough sex defence’ – women essentially blamed for their own deaths by men who claim that women died in rough sex gone wrong.
For many women, this weekend will have been a triggering experience. Abusive partners come from all walks of life – and anyone can be on the receiving end.
Abuse doesn’t discriminate. Its perpetrators can be footballers, doctors, builders, teachers. They can be anyone. Survivors need to know that men accused of crimes cannot silence women, that women’s voices will be listened to, and that they will be heard, they will be believed.
We should not be parading those accused of abuse in football stadiums around the country simply pretending that nothing has happened. We should be challenging it, calling it out and campaigning for change.
If you need support or information, you can call Refuge on 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours a day. Or you can live chat between 3-10pm, Monday to Friday at www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.
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