Some things are better left unsaid (Picture: @killthenoise)

No matter how tasty it may be, please don’t have sex with a pizza.

It’s messy, unhygenic, and probably extremely painful if you haven’t let it cool down first.

And if you decide to do it on board a cruise ship, people are going to find out.

Notices started appearing on a Holy Ship! party cruise, which set sail at the weekend, telling guests not to make sweet love to pizza.

This was apparently necessary due to some ‘uncouth behaviour’ that took place on a previous trip, though thankfully there is no in depth detail about what happened.

People come on the cruise to party and make love to food, apparently (Picture: Holy Ship/Instagram)

However, Norwegian Cruise Line, the company behind Holy Ship!, later said the letter was a prank by a guest.

The letter, titled ‘open pizza bar for consumption only’, reads: ‘Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the cafe, we feel it is our duty to remind out guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating.

‘Sexual acts with our handcrafted pizzas can bring unintended health consequences and can pose a safety hazard for other passengers aboard our journey.

‘Lewd and/or sexual acts with our cuisines are not only frowned upon but are prohibited by maritime law.’

It adds: ‘If you suffer sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as our pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below deck.’

(We Googled sitophilia so you don’t have to, and yes, it is very much a real thing.)

Norwegian Cruise Line said all copies of the letter had been removed by the ship’s crew.